What really happend in the Garden of Eden.

     There is an apocryphal tale from the Bible that goes like this (when summarized extremely briefly): Adam had one friend in the garden, and that was Dog (his named gets capitalized because it was, at the time, a proper name, not a generic noun).  After Eve bit the apple and then got Adam to do so as well, God called them and all of the creatures of the Garden together.  As He was about to pass sentence on the couple for their transgression, God asked all of the animals present if any of them would stand beside Adam in judgement.  All of them turned their backs on Adam accept for Dog.  Before casting Adam and Eve out of the garden, God made several decrees, but I will only mention two.  For this loyalty, God made dog and man (see, generic nouns, so no capitals) companions from that day forward, each to the others' benefit.  For their disloyalty, God made the rest of the creatures of the Garden subservient to Adam--labor to till his fields, leather for his clothes, meat for his table, and so on.
     As is the case with so many old stories, details get lost or confused, so you should all know that this is not what really happened.  I have done research, traveled to historic sites, consulted various Papal documents, and held extensive interviews in order to find out what really did happen, which was this: Adam and his buddy Dog, after who knows how long of living in the Garden (before the advent of females, which proved to be a rather thorough distraction from the plan for quite some time, apparently) had grown incredibly sick of being confined with nothing new to explore and no new mischief to get up to.  As they were innocent, they did not realize that they were mischievous, because they had no malign intent.  In a fit of cleverness one day, they devised a plan to get out of the Garden by getting Eve to eat a bit of the forbidden fruit.  How exactly they managed this was very simple--they just asked her to do it, and out of love she complied.  As history can attest, the plan worked spectacularly.
     So, the story really isn't about Man's (or Woman's, for that matter) fall from grace.  It's really the story of the first prank, played on God by Adam and Dog.  And the first debt, which the same two owe Eve.

This one's about writing.

     Part of the reason why I started blogging was because of writer's block.  I've had it for awhile now.  Years.  As someone who spent their college career learning to be a writer, it's pretty damn annoying.  There is a cure, though.  Write.  Anything.  Each day, just get some words on paper.  For example, I keep a daily journal.  Occasionally I even make entries on successive days. Now, as someone with a little technical skill at writing, I will give you the one piece of advice that has served me better than any others as a writer: write like you speak.
     To make sure you have done this once you write something, read it out loud.  The difference between what you will think is good on paper and what you will think sounds good will amaze you.  This will serve you no matter what you are working on, be it a personal letter, your grocery list, or the next great American novel.  Although, if you're going the novel road, do yourself a favor and start small.  Short stories of one thousand words or less.  If you can get a story into that small a space, then you can start building up to bigger things.
     I plan on finding a way to post some of my fiction writing online.  When I do I will post how to view it here.  This will serve two purposes for me.  The first is because I don't care about getting paid for what I write.  The funny thing about being a published author is that writing is an art, but publishing is a business.  If you create art for the express purpose of profit, I'm not so sure it's art.  The second is to get some public feedback on my work.  I already know it doesn't suck, I've had professors tell me that much. The question is, is it art?  Because writing, as an art form, answers the old saw about art for the artist or the viewer.  What a load of crap.  All art if for the viewer, otherwise it's masturbation.
     Writing is meant to be shared.  That's why it was invented in the first place.

President Obama

     Last week I used way more words than I needed to (or probably should have), so this week I will try to make do with a lot less.
     Our current president is an obviously polarizing figure.  Without saying whether I am for or against him, I thought I could say something about the job he is doing.  I think he must be doing a hell of a job, because it seems that everyone (Republican and Democrat alike) is pissed off at him.  Which is how things really work in a democracy, if everything is going as it should.  Nobody gets it all their way.  Everyone must compromise, so no one is happy.
     Try to remember that the next time you are casting your ballot.  And think about this, if you do vote.  Most people have a very vague idea about voting.  The truth is that you are supposed to cast your vote for what is in your best interest.  You aren't supposed to try to decide some nebulous 'greater good' for the rest of the country or be some straight-ticket voting party robot.  You are supposed to act in supreme self-interest, and damn all party rhetoric or what any talking head or Hollywood know-nothing spouts at you.  If your interests coincide with more people than not then you will see that things are done they way you want a little more than not.  But you wont get everything your way, so be prepared for some disappointment.
     It really is as simple as that.
     I only have one more thing to add.  For all the people who try to impress upon me their love or hate for the current president, the current status of our foreign policy or military actions, or the state or the union, I have a question.  Did you vote in the last election?  If your answer is 'yes,' I am amenable to reasonable discourse.  If your answer is 'no,' however, please help yourself to a nice warm glass of "Shut the hell up!"