I just got back from New Orleans. We made a family trip to watch the Pirates play the Ragin' Cajuns in the New Orleans Bowl. I don't feel too bad about the loss because the Cajuns earned it, and I don't really care that much about baseball anyway. I can't say that out loud, however, because the woman and child were crushed by the loss--they are both rabid ECU fans--and would keelhaul me for my lack of emotional commitment. Hopefully they don't read my blog. Anyway, I thought I'd write a little about the town. I've been there before and I have enjoyed every visit.
If you ask for a Bloody Mary you will get pickled green beans in it, which actually works with the drink quite well. A lot of places will also leave the heads on your shrimp but that doesn't even slow me down, since I grew up in Wanchese and can pop heads with the best of them. The evidence of Hurricane Katrina's aftermath is sill obvious everywhere you look. Despite the ongoing struggle to rebuild, or more likely because of it, the people of New Orleans are extremely kind and welcoming, eager to share their hospitality. They were also gracious in victory. Not a single person was rude or obnoxious on the two mile or so walk (straight down Poydras Street) from the Superdome to our hotel. The Cafe Du Monde still serves the best beignets on the planet. I did not have the cafe au lait with mine because real men drink hot chocolate (that is Rule #23, in case anyone is counting). 'To go' cups of whatever booze you happen to be drinking is the rule when walking around the city, they don't mind as long as it isn't glass. Despite this New Orleans (they pronounce it "Nawlins") has a lot less litter than any other large U.S. city I have been to. You can hire a horse-drawn carriage for a pleasant tour of the French Quarter, only they use mules instead of horses because horses can't stands the humidity of those Gulf Coast summers. You can get all over the place by walking if you are the depraved sort that likes that kind of thing, but the public transportation system is extensive, reliable, and, especially in the case of the trolleys, quite pleasant. And you really should use the IRT, driving in the Big Easy is like driving in New York or L.A. or Chicago--sort of like NASCAR, with less safety equipment. Or, to put it another way, not quite as bad as Italy. Crap, I forgot to talk about the music. The city is inhabited by it. No matter where you go it winds though the city, just like the Mississippi River. What I like best about New Orleans (after the music and food) is that every time you turn a corner you bump into a piece of history. There are parks and monuments and beautiful old buildings that each have their own interesting story to tell. There is never enough time in one visit (probably not in a lifetime, either) to get your fill of the place. That's why I always love going back.
I could go on, but I expect y'all get the idea by now. It was a pleasant trip and we all had a great time. U.S. Airlines screwed up our return tickets and booked me on a separate flight from the woman and the child so I had to sit in the airport for a few hours. The airline had overbooked every flight they had, apparently. I met a great many disgruntled folks who had been bumped in this fashion. I can only imagine it will be worse today and for the next while. What is it about the holidays that causes a sort of mild brain damage in airline booking agents? I changed planes in Charlotte both ways. I have been on choppers that were bigger than those planes. I suppose I should just be happy they didn't make me help wind the rubber bands.
Next time I go, I think I'll see if I can go by boat.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
I just got my membership badge and key (as well as a couple of guest passes) to the PCWC (Pitt County Wildlife Club). It's a lot more than a gun club and I'm very happy to become a member. I really like the Club, it is a nonprofit organization and it, or more properly, the folks that constitute it, do a lot to promote firearm safety and education. I'm also a huge fan of the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution, as I think everyone should be, since it's the one that makes sure we get to keep all the rest. Of course, nobody has to have guns if they don't want them. You don't have to like them, either. Just don't mess with my right to cuddle and fondle them as much as I want.
(You can find out more about the PCWC at http://www.pittcountywildlifeclub.org/)
Which is where we often tend get off the trail of democracy in America, I think. It seems like a bunch of folks out their think that their 1st Amendment right isn't s much the right to free speech as it is the right to tell other people what to do. That is not what the framers of the constitution had in mind when they wrote that document. It is the opposite, in fact. Instead of using their right to vote as it was intended--casting their ballot in whatever political direction is in their own best interests, so that if their best interests are in the majority, they get those interests seen to--many people seem to have gotten the idea that their vote is a tool to be used to decide what is good for everyone else, so that if they can get enough intolerant people on their side they can oppress whoever or whatever they disapprove of.
The vote to ban gay marriage here in North Carolina (in May of 2012, if memory serves) is a shining example of this. What goes on between consenting adults in their bedrooms is no business of mine, and certainly not the government's. If two people want to get married, their gender has absolutely zero impact on my life or the lives of my family members. I can't see a negative for two people in love being allowed to formalize their bond. If anything, the world would be a slightly better place, since two people just got happier.
Guns get that kind of treatment, too. Every day someone is killed by a drunk driver--but nobody tries to outlaw cars or booze. Well, outlawing booze was tried once (if you don't know how Prohibition went, Google it).
I have a suggestion: let's all try a little less self-righteousness and a little more minding our own business. Our nation was founded in a revolution because the people didn't like being told what to do. That is what we are, at our core. Or at least were.
When did we forget that and become what we fought so hard to be free of?
(You can find out more about the PCWC at http://www.pittcountywildlifeclub.org/)
Which is where we often tend get off the trail of democracy in America, I think. It seems like a bunch of folks out their think that their 1st Amendment right isn't s much the right to free speech as it is the right to tell other people what to do. That is not what the framers of the constitution had in mind when they wrote that document. It is the opposite, in fact. Instead of using their right to vote as it was intended--casting their ballot in whatever political direction is in their own best interests, so that if their best interests are in the majority, they get those interests seen to--many people seem to have gotten the idea that their vote is a tool to be used to decide what is good for everyone else, so that if they can get enough intolerant people on their side they can oppress whoever or whatever they disapprove of.
The vote to ban gay marriage here in North Carolina (in May of 2012, if memory serves) is a shining example of this. What goes on between consenting adults in their bedrooms is no business of mine, and certainly not the government's. If two people want to get married, their gender has absolutely zero impact on my life or the lives of my family members. I can't see a negative for two people in love being allowed to formalize their bond. If anything, the world would be a slightly better place, since two people just got happier.
Guns get that kind of treatment, too. Every day someone is killed by a drunk driver--but nobody tries to outlaw cars or booze. Well, outlawing booze was tried once (if you don't know how Prohibition went, Google it).
I have a suggestion: let's all try a little less self-righteousness and a little more minding our own business. Our nation was founded in a revolution because the people didn't like being told what to do. That is what we are, at our core. Or at least were.
When did we forget that and become what we fought so hard to be free of?
Friday, December 14, 2012
I have my fingers crossed.
This happened a few years ago, but I figured I'd mention it today. Two guys in the U.K.--Kelvin Borbidge and his friend Daniel Knox-Hewson--decided to change their names. They are now known legally as Emperor Spiderman Gandalf Wolverine Skywalker Optimus Prime Goku Sonic Xavier Ryu Cloud Superman HeMan Batman Thrash and Baron Venom Balrog Sabretooth Vader Megatron Vegeta Robotnik Magneto Bison Sephiroth Lex Luthor Skeletor Joker Grind, respectively.
They say that there is someone out there for everyone. Maybe Princess Leia Rainbow Brite She-Ra Powerpuff Barbie Wonder Woman Smurfette Batgirl Raggedy Anne is right around the corner, waiting for them with her friend Supergirl Strawberry Shortcake Snow White Pocahontas Betty Boop Sleeping Beauty Cinderella.
If so, I hope that the Mayans were right.
They say that there is someone out there for everyone. Maybe Princess Leia Rainbow Brite She-Ra Powerpuff Barbie Wonder Woman Smurfette Batgirl Raggedy Anne is right around the corner, waiting for them with her friend Supergirl Strawberry Shortcake Snow White Pocahontas Betty Boop Sleeping Beauty Cinderella.
If so, I hope that the Mayans were right.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Not everything pisses me off.
Apparently I have a temper. And cuss. And hit things--but..I mean...come on, why not? If something already needs fixing, why not try giving it a whack or two to see if you can scare the device back into working order before you replace it? Grrrr...getting off-topic--okay, I remember now: this post is to show that not everything pisses me off, as the little woman recently suggested. To prove that, I will list a few things that do NOT piss me off.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Aikido.
2. Jack Daniel's--black Jack, Gentleman, or Single Barrel--just not that crap with the green label.
3. Bacon.
4. My wolves (usually).
5. The Darwin Awards--they tickle me pink.
6. Dumb criminal news stories--I like those almost as much as the Darwin Awards.
7. Guns--using them or feeling them up.
8. Blowing things up.
9. Sex.
10. T-Shirt Hell.
11. Ice cream...as long as it doesn't have any fruit or weird shit in it.
12. Knives.
13. Rock'n'Roll.
14. AAA--their roadside service is dead sexy.
15. Trade paperbacks of comic book regular titles--those are made of win.
16. Farting--but only my own, and the more they stink the better.
17. Other bodily functions--like the kind of dump that makes your pants feel like they fit looser after, pretty much any burp (but the bigger the better), and sneezing--but NOT hiccups, I fucking hate those.
18. The Departed--not the movie, I just mean that most people stop pissing me off once they die.
I'd name some more stuff, but making lists pisses me off.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Aikido.
2. Jack Daniel's--black Jack, Gentleman, or Single Barrel--just not that crap with the green label.
3. Bacon.
4. My wolves (usually).
5. The Darwin Awards--they tickle me pink.
6. Dumb criminal news stories--I like those almost as much as the Darwin Awards.
7. Guns--using them or feeling them up.
8. Blowing things up.
9. Sex.
10. T-Shirt Hell.
11. Ice cream...as long as it doesn't have any fruit or weird shit in it.
12. Knives.
13. Rock'n'Roll.
14. AAA--their roadside service is dead sexy.
15. Trade paperbacks of comic book regular titles--those are made of win.
16. Farting--but only my own, and the more they stink the better.
17. Other bodily functions--like the kind of dump that makes your pants feel like they fit looser after, pretty much any burp (but the bigger the better), and sneezing--but NOT hiccups, I fucking hate those.
18. The Departed--not the movie, I just mean that most people stop pissing me off once they die.
I'd name some more stuff, but making lists pisses me off.
Monday, November 19, 2012
There wont be a revolution, either.
The elections are over, but the whining has just begun. Why this poor dead horse just cannot be left alone to rot in peace is beyond me. As usual, one side won, the other lost, and nothing changed. Nor will anything significantly change. The nature of the governmental beast is that it fears and avoids change. It can only be forced into action, and then only under the most extreme duress. Still, I have run into many people who believe that, because a few people signed a meaningless petition, or because a black man got elected president (again), or that because the GOP lost the country is somehow in mortal peril--that we are about to have another civil war, or even something akin to the Revolutionary War, or go so broke that the China will take us over in some kind of bloodless financial coup. Well, here's some good news: China bought some of our debts, not our real estate, so you can quit practicing with chopsticks. I can only assume that these other fantasies are born of vaguely remembered history lessons from elementary school. While I will admit that the Patriot Act does unpleasantly echo the Writs of Assistance (and in fact exceeds them in their scope) I see nothing else to link this period with that. The governing body is not forcing me to house soldiers in my home (as the Quartering Act did) or pay for another country's wars (like the Stamp Act did). The Coast Guard or Navy have never tried to impress me or or anyone I know into service (like the British used to do to the colonists and then American citizens after the revolution, up until the War of 1812). As a matter of fact, this nation doesn't even have a draft. I am even allowed a voice in the governing of my nation. My voice counts, just as yours does when you vote, whether or not you believe it.
And that idea needs to be addressed I think. The idea that a person's vote does not count is pure foolishness. The electoral college is the usual reason someone makes this statement. It was put into the Constitution by the founding fathers in order to make a compromise between having a president elected by congress or popular vote. This was done to ensure the president would work for the people, because he needed the support of the populace--otherwise he could completely ignore the citizenry and remain in office merely by currying favor with congress. I personally think that this process should be abandoned because it allows the possibility for a candidate to win the popular vote and yet still lose the election--like we saw in 2000 with Bush and Gore. Since we now have the technology to count all of the votes nationwide as fast as they can come in, and we can also use that same technology to inform the public of the election results with the same speed. However, the electoral college is only involved in selecting a president, and the president does not make our laws. The congressmen (or congresswomen) and senators do, and they win their elections by winning the popular vote. They are the reason why we are fighting two wars, why have a gigantic deficit, why the rich don't pay their fair share of taxes, and why everything else that is screwed up is screwed up. The president is not--cannot possibly be--at fault for the lapses and poor decisions made by our other elected officials. In other words, he just does not have the power to be that big of a fuckup. The kind of trouble our nation is in now cannot be engineered by an individual--it takes the concerted efforts of a large groups of incompetents to manage that feat. And the reason those incompetents are in charge is because we--everyone who voted--put them there. Their screw-ups would not be possible without your willing assistance.
Lastly, if you would like to sign a petition, how about one for something realistic and beneficial, like one to make a law that limits the terms of anyone in the house or senate to two or three terms? That would get rid of the career politicians who only serve the interest of whoever pays them the largest campaign donations.
Damn. I used common sense again. Sorry. My family and friends are trying to stop me, but I can smell an intervention a mile away--they'll never catch me.
And that idea needs to be addressed I think. The idea that a person's vote does not count is pure foolishness. The electoral college is the usual reason someone makes this statement. It was put into the Constitution by the founding fathers in order to make a compromise between having a president elected by congress or popular vote. This was done to ensure the president would work for the people, because he needed the support of the populace--otherwise he could completely ignore the citizenry and remain in office merely by currying favor with congress. I personally think that this process should be abandoned because it allows the possibility for a candidate to win the popular vote and yet still lose the election--like we saw in 2000 with Bush and Gore. Since we now have the technology to count all of the votes nationwide as fast as they can come in, and we can also use that same technology to inform the public of the election results with the same speed. However, the electoral college is only involved in selecting a president, and the president does not make our laws. The congressmen (or congresswomen) and senators do, and they win their elections by winning the popular vote. They are the reason why we are fighting two wars, why have a gigantic deficit, why the rich don't pay their fair share of taxes, and why everything else that is screwed up is screwed up. The president is not--cannot possibly be--at fault for the lapses and poor decisions made by our other elected officials. In other words, he just does not have the power to be that big of a fuckup. The kind of trouble our nation is in now cannot be engineered by an individual--it takes the concerted efforts of a large groups of incompetents to manage that feat. And the reason those incompetents are in charge is because we--everyone who voted--put them there. Their screw-ups would not be possible without your willing assistance.
Lastly, if you would like to sign a petition, how about one for something realistic and beneficial, like one to make a law that limits the terms of anyone in the house or senate to two or three terms? That would get rid of the career politicians who only serve the interest of whoever pays them the largest campaign donations.
Damn. I used common sense again. Sorry. My family and friends are trying to stop me, but I can smell an intervention a mile away--they'll never catch me.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
There will not be another civil war.
I'm sure everyone has heard about the twenty-odd states that want to secede from the union by now. My first thought on this subject was, "Good, my country does not need you disloyal scum in the first place, just start heading North or South and you will hit one of our borders and you can be on your merry way." Then I was approached by many friends and acquaintances about this matter. They expressed their feelings to me in a wide variety of ways, ranging from fear of another civil war to plans for moving into the new and improved nation that would rise from the ashes of this one. I was unable to fathom how so many people could take this notion seriously. In my self-appointed role as Punisher of Stupid it shames me no small amount to have to confess that, for once, there is just too much stupid for me to effectively deal with. For that reason, I feel it is necessary to do something so drastic that it perhaps borders on the dangerous: I am going to use common sense.
1. It is not the states that want to withdraw from the union. It is a collection of knuckleheads, racists, assorted nutjobs, whiners, and attention-seekers.
2. It was started via an online petition, not by any figures in actual power (i.e. governors, congresspersons, or senators of those given states).
3. Therefore this will never be put before a congressional vote.
4. Therefore the White House will never give this any kind of serious consideration.
5. Nor will the Supreme Court, a branch of our government that has actually already addressed this matter on several previous (post-Civil War) occasions and has decided that it is in violation of our Constitution and thus illegal.
6. However, if it somehow did, I would be the first to re-enlist and help fight to keep my nation whole. I would do this because--as a friend who was also in the Corps once reminded me--as former Marines, we once took an oath to uphold and defend our Constitution and nation against all enemies, both foreign and domestic...and we were never released from that oath.
I hope that this has settled any fears my readers might have, and that you all can forgive me for having to resort to this inhuman and extreme measure,
1. It is not the states that want to withdraw from the union. It is a collection of knuckleheads, racists, assorted nutjobs, whiners, and attention-seekers.
2. It was started via an online petition, not by any figures in actual power (i.e. governors, congresspersons, or senators of those given states).
3. Therefore this will never be put before a congressional vote.
4. Therefore the White House will never give this any kind of serious consideration.
5. Nor will the Supreme Court, a branch of our government that has actually already addressed this matter on several previous (post-Civil War) occasions and has decided that it is in violation of our Constitution and thus illegal.
6. However, if it somehow did, I would be the first to re-enlist and help fight to keep my nation whole. I would do this because--as a friend who was also in the Corps once reminded me--as former Marines, we once took an oath to uphold and defend our Constitution and nation against all enemies, both foreign and domestic...and we were never released from that oath.
I hope that this has settled any fears my readers might have, and that you all can forgive me for having to resort to this inhuman and extreme measure,
Sunday, October 28, 2012
This one's about respect.
I have gotten a little more than fed up with the lack of respect shown to the office of the President of the United States recently. I think it started with President Bush, when an Iraqi reporter, Muntadhar al-Zaidi, threw a shoe at him. This, in my mind, was an epic fail on the part of the President's security team. That reporter should have been shot by at least four different agents as he drew his arm back. He should not have lived long enough to release his footwear.
It happened again when South Carolina senator Joe Wilson became the first and only person to shout at a sitting president (President Obama) as he was addressing congress, calling him a liar. That man should have been removed from office, but instead nothing happened to him. Now, one of Mitt Romney's sons, Tagg Romney, has said that he would like to take a swing at the President. I am going to speak to this issue in two parts.
Part 1. If you do not like the President, or are racist, or just ignorant, this is important for you to know: the United States of America, and the office of the President in particular, do not just deserve, but demand your respect. This is why it is illegal to make threats against the President. The position is too important to be treated so shabbily. When you insult either one, you insult every person living in our country. If you do not like or cannot grasp this, please feel free to get the hell out of my country.
Part 2. This part is for Tagg Romney, his father Mitt, and the rest of the Romney clones. I personally would like to kick your father's teeth down his throat. He is the single most insincere and dishonest person I have ever had the displeasure of seeing run for any kind of political office. I would also like to beat the living hell out of you. Your brothers are also all welcome to a piece of that beating. I am offering to do this in a public forum, with a ref for y'all's sake. Let's sell tickets to the fight and give all the proceeds to charity. If I win, all the money goes to the Wounded Warrior project. If the Romneys win, they can give the money to whatever charity they want. I will fight you all, one after the other, MMA rules, with no rest between fights or timer for the rounds of combat. Each fight will last until someone loses, at which point a new combatant will enter the octagon and the match will continue. I am willing to fight all of you myself, but might have to have one or two other people on my team, because I have a number of friends that are as angry as I am about your total lack of respect for the country that we fought for. I promise that, while some of the folks in my corner might be veterans, none of them will be professional fighters or anything like that. No ringers, I promise. In the case of a team-on-team event, whichever team still has members with their asses un-kicked (this means folks who didn't get a chance to go into the ring/octagon/playground/whatever) at the end wins.
You guys can bring Senator Wilson and Muntadhar al-Zaidi with you if you'd like.
The more knuckleheads the merrier.
It happened again when South Carolina senator Joe Wilson became the first and only person to shout at a sitting president (President Obama) as he was addressing congress, calling him a liar. That man should have been removed from office, but instead nothing happened to him. Now, one of Mitt Romney's sons, Tagg Romney, has said that he would like to take a swing at the President. I am going to speak to this issue in two parts.
Part 1. If you do not like the President, or are racist, or just ignorant, this is important for you to know: the United States of America, and the office of the President in particular, do not just deserve, but demand your respect. This is why it is illegal to make threats against the President. The position is too important to be treated so shabbily. When you insult either one, you insult every person living in our country. If you do not like or cannot grasp this, please feel free to get the hell out of my country.
Part 2. This part is for Tagg Romney, his father Mitt, and the rest of the Romney clones. I personally would like to kick your father's teeth down his throat. He is the single most insincere and dishonest person I have ever had the displeasure of seeing run for any kind of political office. I would also like to beat the living hell out of you. Your brothers are also all welcome to a piece of that beating. I am offering to do this in a public forum, with a ref for y'all's sake. Let's sell tickets to the fight and give all the proceeds to charity. If I win, all the money goes to the Wounded Warrior project. If the Romneys win, they can give the money to whatever charity they want. I will fight you all, one after the other, MMA rules, with no rest between fights or timer for the rounds of combat. Each fight will last until someone loses, at which point a new combatant will enter the octagon and the match will continue. I am willing to fight all of you myself, but might have to have one or two other people on my team, because I have a number of friends that are as angry as I am about your total lack of respect for the country that we fought for. I promise that, while some of the folks in my corner might be veterans, none of them will be professional fighters or anything like that. No ringers, I promise. In the case of a team-on-team event, whichever team still has members with their asses un-kicked (this means folks who didn't get a chance to go into the ring/octagon/playground/whatever) at the end wins.
You guys can bring Senator Wilson and Muntadhar al-Zaidi with you if you'd like.
The more knuckleheads the merrier.
Friday, October 26, 2012
I voted early today.
I did early voting for the first time today. It was fun. I like to vote. But I don't care if you vote or don't--just don't come whining to me about how much you think things suck if you didn't.
Because I will smack you if you do.
Because I will smack you if you do.
Friday, October 19, 2012
No fags allowed, but all you pedophiles are welcome.
I personally hope that Jerry Sandusky and every person that helped hide his crimes all get done to them what they did or helped him to do to those children while they are in prison. This also goes for every priest in the Catholic Church that helped to hide the same crimes.
Now the Boy Scouts are on that list, too. How could any organization be so rabidly homophobic while simultaneously condoning the rape of children? And garner such widespread support in hiding their crimes? The 15,000--and yes, that's fifteen thousand--page report known as the "abuse files" that have been reported on in the news recently are just a small portion of a record that the Scouts have been keeping since shortly after they were founded in 1910. That's a hundred years of suffering children silenced when they begged for help because every police officer, prosecutor, and pastor they or their parents approached turned a deaf ear to their cries--all for the sake of saving the "good name" of the Boy Scouts.
Don't get me wrong. I think that the idea of the Scouts is a good one. In the world we live in now, we need groups and organizations that can teach boys the necessary characteristics they will need to become not just good men but good members of society. However, no organization is or should be above reproach or the law. No institution is that sacred. Not one thing in this world is worth preserving if we have to sacrifice our children for its sake. If any group that is supposed to serve the public trust cannot be held up before the candle of free speech and show itself as transparent, then it does not deserve to exist.
Now the Boy Scouts are on that list, too. How could any organization be so rabidly homophobic while simultaneously condoning the rape of children? And garner such widespread support in hiding their crimes? The 15,000--and yes, that's fifteen thousand--page report known as the "abuse files" that have been reported on in the news recently are just a small portion of a record that the Scouts have been keeping since shortly after they were founded in 1910. That's a hundred years of suffering children silenced when they begged for help because every police officer, prosecutor, and pastor they or their parents approached turned a deaf ear to their cries--all for the sake of saving the "good name" of the Boy Scouts.
Don't get me wrong. I think that the idea of the Scouts is a good one. In the world we live in now, we need groups and organizations that can teach boys the necessary characteristics they will need to become not just good men but good members of society. However, no organization is or should be above reproach or the law. No institution is that sacred. Not one thing in this world is worth preserving if we have to sacrifice our children for its sake. If any group that is supposed to serve the public trust cannot be held up before the candle of free speech and show itself as transparent, then it does not deserve to exist.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Just another brick in the wall.
On Saturday, 13OCT2012, I attended the funeral for Sgt. Donna Johnson of Raeford, a soldier in the National Guard who was recently killed in Afghanistan. I attended as part of the Human Wall in an effort to keep the Westboro Baptist Church protesters from desecrating the service. This was done pretty easily. There were at least three thousand of us and about ten of them. They rapidly got the idea that their health was in danger, since they had forgotten their usual defensive tactic--hiding behind a wall of children that they use as human shields. One of the WBC crowd (according to hearsay) grabbed a flag from one of the Human Wall members and began stomping on it, which started a fight. I was told that the police, who maintained a high degree of visibility and a constant presence just about everywhere during the event, arrested the WBC attacker.
I got there about 0830 and left sometime after 1230. For the first hour or so all I could hear from down the street was the sound of the well-meaning Human Wall crowd shouting at the WBC crowd. I guess they forgot that it was about the family and their loss, not verbally abusing some idiots.
Everything seemed to quiet down after the WBC crowd fled. The funeral procession passed the corner I stood on with quiet dignity. Sgt. Johnson's flag-draped casket was drawn behind a motorcycle. That was the first time I have ever seen so many different motorcycle club colors together in one place without any friction between them. They, at least, seemed to have the right idea. Of course, it was easy to tell that most of them were veterans, so I wasn't surprised.
I did not attend the service at the graveside, nor the service in the church. I had begun to feel that the presence of so many individuals, no matter how well-meaning, was terribly intrusive to the family. I spent most of my time by the Raeford Courthouse, trying to dodge chain-smokers. It seemed as though I couldn't find anywhere to stand without being surrounded by at least three of them, puffing away as hard as they could.
I am a reformed smoker, and I confess that there is no more rabid an anti-smoker than one who used to have the habit themselves.
I got a speeding ticket on the way home, so I guess it is true, no good deed goes unpunished. I hope that Sgt. Johnson's family, as well as the families of Sgt. Thomas Butler and Sgt. Jeremy Hardison, have had their grief eased at least a little by this large show of public support. Your losses were not in vain, but helped to secure a better future for us all.
Lastly, I don't know how many combat veterans might ever see this post, but there is one truth that we all share in knowing when we see one of our fallen warriors pass us by:
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
I got there about 0830 and left sometime after 1230. For the first hour or so all I could hear from down the street was the sound of the well-meaning Human Wall crowd shouting at the WBC crowd. I guess they forgot that it was about the family and their loss, not verbally abusing some idiots.
Everything seemed to quiet down after the WBC crowd fled. The funeral procession passed the corner I stood on with quiet dignity. Sgt. Johnson's flag-draped casket was drawn behind a motorcycle. That was the first time I have ever seen so many different motorcycle club colors together in one place without any friction between them. They, at least, seemed to have the right idea. Of course, it was easy to tell that most of them were veterans, so I wasn't surprised.
I did not attend the service at the graveside, nor the service in the church. I had begun to feel that the presence of so many individuals, no matter how well-meaning, was terribly intrusive to the family. I spent most of my time by the Raeford Courthouse, trying to dodge chain-smokers. It seemed as though I couldn't find anywhere to stand without being surrounded by at least three of them, puffing away as hard as they could.
I am a reformed smoker, and I confess that there is no more rabid an anti-smoker than one who used to have the habit themselves.
I got a speeding ticket on the way home, so I guess it is true, no good deed goes unpunished. I hope that Sgt. Johnson's family, as well as the families of Sgt. Thomas Butler and Sgt. Jeremy Hardison, have had their grief eased at least a little by this large show of public support. Your losses were not in vain, but helped to secure a better future for us all.
Lastly, I don't know how many combat veterans might ever see this post, but there is one truth that we all share in knowing when we see one of our fallen warriors pass us by:
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Oh noes!
So I found this while doing rooting through the news this morning: http://www.slashgear.com/huawei-and-zte-could-undermine-us-national-security-say-lawmakers-08250855/ which basically says that the Chinese government is or is capable of using devices made by these companies to gather intelligence on America. I'm guessing they mean kind of like how we (or, more accurately, the U.S. intelligence agency known as the NSA) listens to every cell and telephone call (and every other means of communication) on the planet. I guess the panic is because now China is starting to catch up with us in the dirty tricks department, because they are using old favorites from our own black bag.
Now we know what it tales to worry the U.S. government. Not cyber attacks, or shooting down our aircraft, or stealing our nuclear secrets. Not even poisoning our pets and children, child slave labor, or any other kind of human rights abuse. Just someone poaching on their turf. Can anyone else taste the hypocrisy?
Don't get me wrong. I'm as sick and tired as everyone of walking into American stores and only being able to find crappy Chinese products as everyone else is in this country. I'm pissed of I can't find any of the great stuff made in Japan. (And I bet nobody born more than a generation ago would have ever thought they'd wish for that. Is it me, or was that bit of hypocrisy just a little salty?) This isn't the fault of the Chinese people or their political leaders, however--it is because our leaders have failed us.
I will let that sink in for a second before going on.
I happen like Chinese food, culture, and people. I just think their political leaders suck--which is something that they share with the rest of the world. I kind of get the feeling that a lot of Chinese people don't like their government, either. Please let me be the first to welcome all one billion plus of you to that club. You will like it, we have cookies.
You aren't the first great people to be ruled by idiots.
Just look at us.
Or the Iranians.
Y'all are welcome in the club, too.
Now we know what it tales to worry the U.S. government. Not cyber attacks, or shooting down our aircraft, or stealing our nuclear secrets. Not even poisoning our pets and children, child slave labor, or any other kind of human rights abuse. Just someone poaching on their turf. Can anyone else taste the hypocrisy?
Don't get me wrong. I'm as sick and tired as everyone of walking into American stores and only being able to find crappy Chinese products as everyone else is in this country. I'm pissed of I can't find any of the great stuff made in Japan. (And I bet nobody born more than a generation ago would have ever thought they'd wish for that. Is it me, or was that bit of hypocrisy just a little salty?) This isn't the fault of the Chinese people or their political leaders, however--it is because our leaders have failed us.
I will let that sink in for a second before going on.
I happen like Chinese food, culture, and people. I just think their political leaders suck--which is something that they share with the rest of the world. I kind of get the feeling that a lot of Chinese people don't like their government, either. Please let me be the first to welcome all one billion plus of you to that club. You will like it, we have cookies.
You aren't the first great people to be ruled by idiots.
Just look at us.
Or the Iranians.
Y'all are welcome in the club, too.
Friday, October 5, 2012
This one's got some more Rules.
19. Guys (of all ages), no matter how big it is when fully erect, it isn't that big when you pee. Take a step closer to the toilet, please. And lift both lids, even in public toilets.
20. Always put both lids down. If you have ever dropped a brand new cell phone (or anything else) down the toilet, you will know why. There is a secondary advantage to this behavior for men: the women in your life women will like you more and harass you less.
21. The older you get, the less you can trust a fart. Another one I didn't invent, but I can't remember who said it first so we will pretend it's mine if you can't, either.
22. Don't be afraid to 'courtesy flush.' This one is mostly for camp (all you Wadokai Aikidoka know what I mean) but should be applied by anyone in any public toilet.
20. Always put both lids down. If you have ever dropped a brand new cell phone (or anything else) down the toilet, you will know why. There is a secondary advantage to this behavior for men: the women in your life women will like you more and harass you less.
21. The older you get, the less you can trust a fart. Another one I didn't invent, but I can't remember who said it first so we will pretend it's mine if you can't, either.
22. Don't be afraid to 'courtesy flush.' This one is mostly for camp (all you Wadokai Aikidoka know what I mean) but should be applied by anyone in any public toilet.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
A correction--and then some.
In the my last post, the last sentence of the second paragraph reads, "You can Google charts for how many each year, but that is an average of
200 people per decade, or about 182 people killed per year." It should read, "You can Google charts for how many each year, but that is an average of about 182 people killed per year."
Here are a couple more Rules:
16. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with the words, "I know I shouldn't say this, but," just shut up.
17. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with words like, "There are two kinds of black/white/gay/whatever people," just shut up.
18. It is not only okay, but also signifies good character and a superior intellect, when you instantly hang up on any machine voice that speaks when you answer the phone.
Now for some other stuff. I recently tested for nikyu, the second or lower level brown belt, in Aikido. The test was a blast, one of the best times I have ever had in my life. I have received many compliments on my performance in the test, so I think that might have shown. Not being able to fall (because of a back injury), as is usually required of someone taking a kyu (below black belt ranks) or dan (all the black ranks) test in our school, has made learning the techniques much more difficult than the process otherwise would be. Getting thrown by a technique--falling from it--goes a long way toward teaching your body how to do the technique when your turn comes around. Because I couldn't fall, I concentrated a lot more on the physical side than the knowledge side for this test, and it showed in a way i will explain shortly.
I should explain that our tests begin with a written paper (of varying length, mine had to be a minimum of five double-spaced pages in a 12 pica font) on an Aikido related topic, that must be turned in before testing begins. When the test begins, there is a question and answer period where the student is required to demonstrate knowledge of the Japanese language, the history of Aikido (as well as its founder, O'Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, and our chief instructor, Sensei Roy Suenaka), philosophical and esoteric concepts, as well as a great number of other things. After that, you do either the 15 or 50 basic throws. These are done on the left and right, and some techniques have an A and B to their left and right sides respectively, so that you end up having to throw and be thrown over 100 times on a brown belt or higher test. Then come optional techniques, where each member of the testing board calls out an attack or response, and the student demonstrates whatever is required with a minimum of five different responses. For example, I had eight optionals, one of which was tepo-tori, or gun-taking techniques. I had to disarm an attacker wielding a pistol a bunch of times, and try not only t make it look like I knew what I was doing, but to show some variety and skill while doing so. After that there are weapon katas, the jo (short staff) and bokken (wooden sword). We skipped bokken katas for the sake of time this year (we had a pile of people testing), but I am certain we will be demonstrating them when we test again in the spring. After the katas you enter the home stretch of testing, the randoris. Randori is a Japanese word that means, "beat up the guy standing in the middle of the mat." You get out in the middle of the mat and everyone jumps on you, basically. You do three of these, back to back with no break, starting with a jo randori. Then there is a general randori, where any attack is to be expected and any Aiki response allowed. Lastly is the ryokatatori (pronounce it 'yo-kata-tory') randori. This means everyone comes at you while trying to grab the collar or lapels of your gi and you have to keep turning continuously to throw them off to one side or the other. By this time, no matter how great a shape you might be in, you are gassed. The testing board wants to see what you do, what you are made of, when you have nothing left.
Now that you know what testing is like, you will be better able to understand my explanation of how my test went. When I was called before the testing board, I bowed and answered what questions I could. I missed several, but that didn't matter to me. Not because I didn't care, but because I had become totally relaxed and had decided that I would just have as much fun with the test as I could. Instead of high-speed slammy waza (the Japanese word for techniques), I did slower, more controlled Aikido. I just wanted to show that I was relaxed, focused, and in control. The outcome of the test meant nothing to me, nor did any missteps or other errors. Instead of how I usually am, which is kind of like a hurricane (if you ask any of my friends), I became the calm eye of the storm. It is the closest I have ever come to takemusu-aiki, or infinite martial creativity, the goal of every martial artist. it is also the closest I have ever come to being able to see the world as it truly is (without nearly dying), rather than the distorted image we all perceive through the lens of our egos. Now here is my favorite part: some of that stayed with me. I am no longer the same person.
And I like the change.
Here are a couple more Rules:
16. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with the words, "I know I shouldn't say this, but," just shut up.
17. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with words like, "There are two kinds of black/white/gay/whatever people," just shut up.
18. It is not only okay, but also signifies good character and a superior intellect, when you instantly hang up on any machine voice that speaks when you answer the phone.
Now for some other stuff. I recently tested for nikyu, the second or lower level brown belt, in Aikido. The test was a blast, one of the best times I have ever had in my life. I have received many compliments on my performance in the test, so I think that might have shown. Not being able to fall (because of a back injury), as is usually required of someone taking a kyu (below black belt ranks) or dan (all the black ranks) test in our school, has made learning the techniques much more difficult than the process otherwise would be. Getting thrown by a technique--falling from it--goes a long way toward teaching your body how to do the technique when your turn comes around. Because I couldn't fall, I concentrated a lot more on the physical side than the knowledge side for this test, and it showed in a way i will explain shortly.
I should explain that our tests begin with a written paper (of varying length, mine had to be a minimum of five double-spaced pages in a 12 pica font) on an Aikido related topic, that must be turned in before testing begins. When the test begins, there is a question and answer period where the student is required to demonstrate knowledge of the Japanese language, the history of Aikido (as well as its founder, O'Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, and our chief instructor, Sensei Roy Suenaka), philosophical and esoteric concepts, as well as a great number of other things. After that, you do either the 15 or 50 basic throws. These are done on the left and right, and some techniques have an A and B to their left and right sides respectively, so that you end up having to throw and be thrown over 100 times on a brown belt or higher test. Then come optional techniques, where each member of the testing board calls out an attack or response, and the student demonstrates whatever is required with a minimum of five different responses. For example, I had eight optionals, one of which was tepo-tori, or gun-taking techniques. I had to disarm an attacker wielding a pistol a bunch of times, and try not only t make it look like I knew what I was doing, but to show some variety and skill while doing so. After that there are weapon katas, the jo (short staff) and bokken (wooden sword). We skipped bokken katas for the sake of time this year (we had a pile of people testing), but I am certain we will be demonstrating them when we test again in the spring. After the katas you enter the home stretch of testing, the randoris. Randori is a Japanese word that means, "beat up the guy standing in the middle of the mat." You get out in the middle of the mat and everyone jumps on you, basically. You do three of these, back to back with no break, starting with a jo randori. Then there is a general randori, where any attack is to be expected and any Aiki response allowed. Lastly is the ryokatatori (pronounce it 'yo-kata-tory') randori. This means everyone comes at you while trying to grab the collar or lapels of your gi and you have to keep turning continuously to throw them off to one side or the other. By this time, no matter how great a shape you might be in, you are gassed. The testing board wants to see what you do, what you are made of, when you have nothing left.
Now that you know what testing is like, you will be better able to understand my explanation of how my test went. When I was called before the testing board, I bowed and answered what questions I could. I missed several, but that didn't matter to me. Not because I didn't care, but because I had become totally relaxed and had decided that I would just have as much fun with the test as I could. Instead of high-speed slammy waza (the Japanese word for techniques), I did slower, more controlled Aikido. I just wanted to show that I was relaxed, focused, and in control. The outcome of the test meant nothing to me, nor did any missteps or other errors. Instead of how I usually am, which is kind of like a hurricane (if you ask any of my friends), I became the calm eye of the storm. It is the closest I have ever come to takemusu-aiki, or infinite martial creativity, the goal of every martial artist. it is also the closest I have ever come to being able to see the world as it truly is (without nearly dying), rather than the distorted image we all perceive through the lens of our egos. Now here is my favorite part: some of that stayed with me. I am no longer the same person.
And I like the change.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
This one's about the war in Afghanistan.
I was going to do another entry of my Rules to Live By (I like to imagine that in a giant, echoing bass voice when I hear that in my mind) and then take a little detour into my recent test in Aikido. Instead I decided to do talk about the war in Afghanistan. I'm not going into how our government's recent obvious reluctance to do anything about the attacks on our embassies (and the deaths of our personnel stationed in them) have only served to embolden our enemy and increase their actions in-theater and around the rest of the world. Nor am I going to talk about how both the president and Mr. Romney (as well as all of the U.S. news agencies) are avoiding saying anything about the terrible loss of VMA 211. My friend ASM826, who writes the blog Random Acts of Patriotism (click the little link to the right of this post where it says blogs I follow), did an excellent job of covering that and I strongly recommend that anyone reading this also read his entry for 23SEP2012. Then ask yourself why that information has been covered by all the papers and TV stations in the U.K.--but not anywhere here in the U.S.
Instead, I am going to talk a little bit about math, particularly the math of war. Math is great because it is very simple and always works the same way. One number is either greater, smaller, or equal to another. The number I want to talk about today is 2000. That is the number of casualties--the number of our warriors killed by the enemy's warriors--we have taken since the war in Afghanistan began on 7OCT2001. That means that we have had two thousand of our people killed in the last eleven years. You can Google charts for how many each year, but that is an average of 200 people per decade, or about 182 people killed per year.
Here's some more numbers.
The American Revolution (1775-1783) cost us about 25,700 of our soldiers. That means we lost about 3,212 people per year.
In World War I (1914-1918) we lost over 116,000 of our troops. That one cost us 29,000 people per year.
World War II (1941-1945) U.S. casualties topped 400,000. That's around 100,000 of our people per year.
The Vietnam War (1955-1975) cost us a little over 58,000 lives, which is about 2,900 people per year.
The war in Iraq (2003-2011) cost 4477 deaths, or close to 560 people per year.
I think everyone can see where I am going with this, but I will spell it out anyway. The loss of even a single person in war is a tragedy, but these were the lives of warriors. Ultimately, when they take the oath to defend our nation, this is what those words could cost the men and women who speak them.
It is the job of politicians to start wars. It is the job of warriors to end them. It is a betrayal of their loyalty to make them fight with their hands tied, by exposing them to the enemy through political wrangling and party bickering over the war budget, or by setting or adhering to politically inspired and irrational combat objectives like our troop draw downs and exit strategy for this war. I consider it errant, traitorous stupidity to blatantly cooperate with enemy sympathizers such as Pakistan--just as it is equally foolish to ignore for political purposes the main instigator and supplier of resources that has kept this conflict going for so long--by which I mean the nation of Iran.
Two thousand dead is a terrible loss--as a former Marine and a combat veteran I know this better than most. I can understand their fears, anger, and frustration over this war. Therefor, when I write these words it is not callousness but rather my understanding of the math of war which inspires my words. Simply put, our losses compared to those of other conflicts are minimal, almost infinitesimal by comparison. The men and women we have fighting today are the best trained and equipped that our nation has ever produced. I believe that it would be a terrible disservice to them, as well as a much greater tragedy, to lose yet another conflict through the cowardly wranglings of corrupt Washington politicians and the apathy of a misinformed public that is apparently blind to how much they are being manipulated by the media.
If our warriors--who are even now still fighting and dying for us despite all this--have not lost heart and still have the courage and will to see this fight through to the end...why can't we as a nation do the same?
Instead, I am going to talk a little bit about math, particularly the math of war. Math is great because it is very simple and always works the same way. One number is either greater, smaller, or equal to another. The number I want to talk about today is 2000. That is the number of casualties--the number of our warriors killed by the enemy's warriors--we have taken since the war in Afghanistan began on 7OCT2001. That means that we have had two thousand of our people killed in the last eleven years. You can Google charts for how many each year, but that is an average of 200 people per decade, or about 182 people killed per year.
Here's some more numbers.
The American Revolution (1775-1783) cost us about 25,700 of our soldiers. That means we lost about 3,212 people per year.
In World War I (1914-1918) we lost over 116,000 of our troops. That one cost us 29,000 people per year.
World War II (1941-1945) U.S. casualties topped 400,000. That's around 100,000 of our people per year.
The Vietnam War (1955-1975) cost us a little over 58,000 lives, which is about 2,900 people per year.
The war in Iraq (2003-2011) cost 4477 deaths, or close to 560 people per year.
I think everyone can see where I am going with this, but I will spell it out anyway. The loss of even a single person in war is a tragedy, but these were the lives of warriors. Ultimately, when they take the oath to defend our nation, this is what those words could cost the men and women who speak them.
It is the job of politicians to start wars. It is the job of warriors to end them. It is a betrayal of their loyalty to make them fight with their hands tied, by exposing them to the enemy through political wrangling and party bickering over the war budget, or by setting or adhering to politically inspired and irrational combat objectives like our troop draw downs and exit strategy for this war. I consider it errant, traitorous stupidity to blatantly cooperate with enemy sympathizers such as Pakistan--just as it is equally foolish to ignore for political purposes the main instigator and supplier of resources that has kept this conflict going for so long--by which I mean the nation of Iran.
Two thousand dead is a terrible loss--as a former Marine and a combat veteran I know this better than most. I can understand their fears, anger, and frustration over this war. Therefor, when I write these words it is not callousness but rather my understanding of the math of war which inspires my words. Simply put, our losses compared to those of other conflicts are minimal, almost infinitesimal by comparison. The men and women we have fighting today are the best trained and equipped that our nation has ever produced. I believe that it would be a terrible disservice to them, as well as a much greater tragedy, to lose yet another conflict through the cowardly wranglings of corrupt Washington politicians and the apathy of a misinformed public that is apparently blind to how much they are being manipulated by the media.
If our warriors--who are even now still fighting and dying for us despite all this--have not lost heart and still have the courage and will to see this fight through to the end...why can't we as a nation do the same?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
This one's about underwear.
It's been a while since I made a post. That's because I am lazy. Anyway, here's a new one. I recently noticed that my girlfriend (or whatever the latest PC term is so I don't get bullied by any feminists, you all know how frail and delicate I am) got one of those underwear catalogs in the mail. I looked through it, because I have a Y chromosome, but that wasn't the only reason. Just most of it. As you might expect, it was full of scantily clad models trying to look alluring. What mystified me about the whole thing was this: we were all children once, and experienced the joys and wonders of Christmas and birthdays and so on--so since then...how the hell did the wrapping become more important than the present?
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Even more rules to live by.
It's been awhile since I posted anything. That's because I am lazy. And forgetful. And a world-champion procrastinator. Honest--Guinness is going to put me in their book any time now. Anyway, before I forget what I'm here for, here we go:
13. All dogs bite. Did a post on this already, so everyone can look back and see why. If you have gotten bitten by a dog since reading this, you were warned.
14. Courtesy is a coin that you can spend again and again. Got this from both of my grandmothers (just worded a little differently each time) and it has proven true all my life. It's easy to go from 'polite' to 'not polite' but near impossible to do the reverse. If you doubt me, try to stop a fight by saying 'please'--right after you have punched someone.
15. There are three ways you can trust a man: with your money, your wife, and your life. I have it on good authority that this works the same way for women, except you have to add a fourth category for clothing, particularly shoes.
I'll throw out some more later. Y'all take care 'til then.
13. All dogs bite. Did a post on this already, so everyone can look back and see why. If you have gotten bitten by a dog since reading this, you were warned.
14. Courtesy is a coin that you can spend again and again. Got this from both of my grandmothers (just worded a little differently each time) and it has proven true all my life. It's easy to go from 'polite' to 'not polite' but near impossible to do the reverse. If you doubt me, try to stop a fight by saying 'please'--right after you have punched someone.
15. There are three ways you can trust a man: with your money, your wife, and your life. I have it on good authority that this works the same way for women, except you have to add a fourth category for clothing, particularly shoes.
I'll throw out some more later. Y'all take care 'til then.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
This one's about my new knee braces.
I went to the VA (Veteran's Administration) hospital in Durham yesterday. Nothing serous, just a checkup. I used the time to go to the prosthetics department to find out about a set of knee braces I had ordered some time ago. I had actually placed five orders for them since I knew I needed a new set. VA policy is that you get 1 (yes, that's one) set (I have to wear one on each knee) a year. A set wears out in about 3 months, six if you baby them. Anyway, the fellow at the desk in Prosthetics told me they had been mailed the day before. At this point my Spider-Sense began to tingle madly, but I saw no supervillians sneaking up on me, so I left. As it turned out, the fellow was true to his word; I found the new knee braces waiting for me when I got home.
Seven months late, and one size too small.
Maybe I'll have better luck next year.
Seven months late, and one size too small.
Maybe I'll have better luck next year.
Monday, July 23, 2012
This one's about gun control (and then some).
Quite often in the news you hear about crimes of violence committed with firearms as the weapon of choice. I have noticed that when reported upon by the media, or commented upon by politicians, these crimes fall into one of two categories.
The first category is called "gang violence." This is the language used by reporters and politicians to indicate that one or more non-white people got shot up.
The second category is "gun violence." This means that one or more white people got shot up.
Can anyone guess what the difference is between the two crimes, other than race being used as a tool to minimize or maximize political and financial ends?
If you guessed nothing, you guessed right. Why don't we ever hear that someone who got murdered was the victim of mental illness? Or the victim of knife violence? How about drug violence? Or any of a number of other contributing factors?
Because gun violence sells news, and gets politicians --whether they are for or against them--votes. Pure and simple.
Our law enforcement agencies are unable to stop guns from falling into the hands of criminals. This isn't media hype or political dogma--it's an unfortunate fact. Violence in the world we live in (yes, even in out a county as 'civilized' as the United States) isn't a matter of "if," it is a mater of "when." The criminals have guns, so why shouldn't we? The only way to defend yourself from someone with a gun is by having a gun of your own--and using it. When threatened by those who do not wish to live in accordance with the social contract that most of us adhere to you have two choices: you can become a victim, or not.
The unfortunate thing about this piece of knowledge is that most people think the decision is made at the point when someone sticks a gun in your face, or pulls a knife on you, or punches you. This is not true. If it has gotten that far, you have already made a choice--to become a victim--by not making a decision beforehand.
The decision of whether or not you want to be a victim isn't made during an attack. It is made well before. Hopefully years before, so that you will have had the time (and actually spent it) to acquire the necessary training, skills, attitude, and equipment that will be necessary for you to carry out this decision. This means a lot more than buying a gun or taking a few self-defense classes. It means going to the range and learning how to safely use it, as well as keeping it clean and well-maintained. It means going to the dojo and honing your mind, skills, and reflexes--in addition to practicing your techniques--so that you will have the mental, spiritual, and physical fortitude to deal with violence when it confronts you.
This does not mean that you have to kill or even injure someone else in order to defend yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to choose to be a pacifist. However, if you choose this path and do not train, you still have decided to become a victim by not making a decision. If attacked, you aren't someone choosing not to do violence or suffer it by fending off your attacker without harming them. You are just another victim laying on the ground, getting the hell beaten out of you or bleeding to death, because you didn't know how--didn't choose to learn how--to defend yourself.
The first category is called "gang violence." This is the language used by reporters and politicians to indicate that one or more non-white people got shot up.
The second category is "gun violence." This means that one or more white people got shot up.
Can anyone guess what the difference is between the two crimes, other than race being used as a tool to minimize or maximize political and financial ends?
If you guessed nothing, you guessed right. Why don't we ever hear that someone who got murdered was the victim of mental illness? Or the victim of knife violence? How about drug violence? Or any of a number of other contributing factors?
Because gun violence sells news, and gets politicians --whether they are for or against them--votes. Pure and simple.
Our law enforcement agencies are unable to stop guns from falling into the hands of criminals. This isn't media hype or political dogma--it's an unfortunate fact. Violence in the world we live in (yes, even in out a county as 'civilized' as the United States) isn't a matter of "if," it is a mater of "when." The criminals have guns, so why shouldn't we? The only way to defend yourself from someone with a gun is by having a gun of your own--and using it. When threatened by those who do not wish to live in accordance with the social contract that most of us adhere to you have two choices: you can become a victim, or not.
The unfortunate thing about this piece of knowledge is that most people think the decision is made at the point when someone sticks a gun in your face, or pulls a knife on you, or punches you. This is not true. If it has gotten that far, you have already made a choice--to become a victim--by not making a decision beforehand.
The decision of whether or not you want to be a victim isn't made during an attack. It is made well before. Hopefully years before, so that you will have had the time (and actually spent it) to acquire the necessary training, skills, attitude, and equipment that will be necessary for you to carry out this decision. This means a lot more than buying a gun or taking a few self-defense classes. It means going to the range and learning how to safely use it, as well as keeping it clean and well-maintained. It means going to the dojo and honing your mind, skills, and reflexes--in addition to practicing your techniques--so that you will have the mental, spiritual, and physical fortitude to deal with violence when it confronts you.
This does not mean that you have to kill or even injure someone else in order to defend yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to choose to be a pacifist. However, if you choose this path and do not train, you still have decided to become a victim by not making a decision. If attacked, you aren't someone choosing not to do violence or suffer it by fending off your attacker without harming them. You are just another victim laying on the ground, getting the hell beaten out of you or bleeding to death, because you didn't know how--didn't choose to learn how--to defend yourself.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
I get my science geek on a little.
While reading the news online, I came across an article by Tim Worstall (http://www.forbes.com/sites/timworstall/2012/07/19/the-cheap-way-to-deal-with-climate-change-iron-fertilisation-of-the-oceans/). The reason why I mention this is because, in my self-appointed role as 'Punisher of Stupid,' it is my duty to do something about things like this. Mr. Worstall advocates dumping iron into the oceans, in order to combat global climate change. I'm guessing what he actually means is to stop the ever changing Ph of the world's oceans, because they suck up a large amount of the carbon pollution we produce. This is important because (if anyone remembers their high-school chemistry) when you add carbon dioxide to water you get carbonic acid. That's why Pepsi and Coca-Cola eat that green junk off your car battery terminals, and the enamel off your teeth.
Anyway, the science behind adding iron to the oceans basically goes like this: you dump iron powder into the oceans, which causes algal blooms, which in turn die off after combining all the iron with carbon dioxide, and then sink to the bottom of the ocean where it will rest for a hundred years or so--so we don't have to worry about it anymore.
Mr. Worstall's reasoning for this particular approach is that we should only "reduce emissions where the costs of doing so are lower than the benefits we gain from having emissions." Here is why he wins the bouquet of dildos: this is the same math that car manufacturers and use to determine whether or not it is cheaper to recall something dangerous, or just pay off a few lawsuits.
He would rather rationalize some monetary expenditure than try to fix the problem.
He also neglects to add that the most carbon we will be able to 'remove' in this fashion is about 1 (that's one) gigaton a year. Unfortunately, we dump about 7 to 8 gigatons of carbon waste into the oceans each year.
Here's another science fun fact that neither he nor the source that he quotes mentions: there's a depth in the ocean called the calcium carbonate compensation depth. This is cool because, if you drop something made of calcium carbonate, say a seashell, into the ocean (way out in the middle, where it's very deep), it will sink for a few weeks and then suddenly disappear. This is because the shell has sunk far enough into the ocean that the pressure upon its' surface is so great that the very molecules it is made of are forced into solution, i.e. forced to become part of the water. Think of it like like when you crack your knuckles, and force the gas bubbles in those synovial joints back into solution with a little 'crack.' Only there's no 'crack' when it happens in the ocean.
Diatom frustules, or the little shells that they are made of, are mostly silicate, so that part goes all the way down to the very bottom of the ocean to form that lunar-surface looking place called the abyssal plain. That substance on the bottom of the ocean, which is mostly diatom frustules, is called melange (it is also composed of other things, like dust from outer space, trash we have thrown into the seas, and lots of other things). These diatom skeletons have lots of uses, like as abrasives in things like toothpaste, or as filters, or as insulation, so they are cool and interesting.
But what happens to all that carbon they grabbed while way up there (4,000 meters or more) above the abyssal plain, at the surface of the ocean? Remember the calcium carbonate compensation depth?
Oops.
This plan would only work in shallow parts of our oceans, and then only minutely. And, at best, all it would do is put an even larger ecological problem in the hands of our grandchildren. And I know, I didn't mention it above, but adding carbon dioxide to the oceans (and thus making them much more acidic) is a bad thing. If you would like to know why, go watch "Soylent Green." It's one of Charlton Heston's better movies, and will explain what poisoning the oceans means to all life on the planet in an much more entertaining way than I can.
Anyway, the science behind adding iron to the oceans basically goes like this: you dump iron powder into the oceans, which causes algal blooms, which in turn die off after combining all the iron with carbon dioxide, and then sink to the bottom of the ocean where it will rest for a hundred years or so--so we don't have to worry about it anymore.
Mr. Worstall's reasoning for this particular approach is that we should only "reduce emissions where the costs of doing so are lower than the benefits we gain from having emissions." Here is why he wins the bouquet of dildos: this is the same math that car manufacturers and use to determine whether or not it is cheaper to recall something dangerous, or just pay off a few lawsuits.
He would rather rationalize some monetary expenditure than try to fix the problem.
He also neglects to add that the most carbon we will be able to 'remove' in this fashion is about 1 (that's one) gigaton a year. Unfortunately, we dump about 7 to 8 gigatons of carbon waste into the oceans each year.
Here's another science fun fact that neither he nor the source that he quotes mentions: there's a depth in the ocean called the calcium carbonate compensation depth. This is cool because, if you drop something made of calcium carbonate, say a seashell, into the ocean (way out in the middle, where it's very deep), it will sink for a few weeks and then suddenly disappear. This is because the shell has sunk far enough into the ocean that the pressure upon its' surface is so great that the very molecules it is made of are forced into solution, i.e. forced to become part of the water. Think of it like like when you crack your knuckles, and force the gas bubbles in those synovial joints back into solution with a little 'crack.' Only there's no 'crack' when it happens in the ocean.
Diatom frustules, or the little shells that they are made of, are mostly silicate, so that part goes all the way down to the very bottom of the ocean to form that lunar-surface looking place called the abyssal plain. That substance on the bottom of the ocean, which is mostly diatom frustules, is called melange (it is also composed of other things, like dust from outer space, trash we have thrown into the seas, and lots of other things). These diatom skeletons have lots of uses, like as abrasives in things like toothpaste, or as filters, or as insulation, so they are cool and interesting.
But what happens to all that carbon they grabbed while way up there (4,000 meters or more) above the abyssal plain, at the surface of the ocean? Remember the calcium carbonate compensation depth?
Oops.
This plan would only work in shallow parts of our oceans, and then only minutely. And, at best, all it would do is put an even larger ecological problem in the hands of our grandchildren. And I know, I didn't mention it above, but adding carbon dioxide to the oceans (and thus making them much more acidic) is a bad thing. If you would like to know why, go watch "Soylent Green." It's one of Charlton Heston's better movies, and will explain what poisoning the oceans means to all life on the planet in an much more entertaining way than I can.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Just got back from sumer camp!
The Aikido 2012 Gasshuku (that's Japanese for 'spend a week in the woods getting your butt kicked') was awesome. Loved seeing Suenaka Sensei and everyone else. Wont go into it now, but I will relate some of it in later posts (probably). For now, just a few more of my rules (since it's late and I am tired and lazy).
5. The older you get, the more dead people you know. This rule has a corollary: you also get to skip an increasing number of tedious social functions (i.e. no, I don't want to come to your pet parakeet's bar mitzvah, your plushy party, your live action role playing event, or whatever--thanks anyway, though, and have a nice time).
6. Start younger. This rule applies to pretty much everything, but I was thinking about Aikido when ASM826 and I thought it up. (Now go read his blog, "Random Acts of Patriotism." AFTER you finish reading mine.)
7. Whatever you have been putting off in your life that you really want to do, go and do. Stop finding ways to rationalize not doing it.
8. If you give the average person a set of choices to use in response to some stimuli, you can usually depend on them to take whichever course of action is the stupidest
9. If you are on a date or trying to pick up a woman and you get into a fight, you are NOT getting the girl. However, if you happen upon a woman who is into that kind of thing, run fast, and run far.
10. No matter how magical you think your penis is, it cannot 'cure' a lesbian. This is because there is nothing wrong with the lesbian: you are the one who is fucked up for thinking that crap in the first place.
11. What count isn't what you know, it's what you can do. (And yes, I know I didn't make that one up--these are the Rules I Lives By, not The Rules I Made Up. I'll take good ones anywhere I can find 'em.)
12. STEP AWAY FROM THE YOKOMEN!
More later. Y'all take care 'til then.
5. The older you get, the more dead people you know. This rule has a corollary: you also get to skip an increasing number of tedious social functions (i.e. no, I don't want to come to your pet parakeet's bar mitzvah, your plushy party, your live action role playing event, or whatever--thanks anyway, though, and have a nice time).
6. Start younger. This rule applies to pretty much everything, but I was thinking about Aikido when ASM826 and I thought it up. (Now go read his blog, "Random Acts of Patriotism." AFTER you finish reading mine.)
7. Whatever you have been putting off in your life that you really want to do, go and do. Stop finding ways to rationalize not doing it.
8. If you give the average person a set of choices to use in response to some stimuli, you can usually depend on them to take whichever course of action is the stupidest
9. If you are on a date or trying to pick up a woman and you get into a fight, you are NOT getting the girl. However, if you happen upon a woman who is into that kind of thing, run fast, and run far.
10. No matter how magical you think your penis is, it cannot 'cure' a lesbian. This is because there is nothing wrong with the lesbian: you are the one who is fucked up for thinking that crap in the first place.
11. What count isn't what you know, it's what you can do. (And yes, I know I didn't make that one up--these are the Rules I Lives By, not The Rules I Made Up. I'll take good ones anywhere I can find 'em.)
12. STEP AWAY FROM THE YOKOMEN!
More later. Y'all take care 'til then.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Made it home (and didn't need bail).
Made it back from Blade without needing bail money. The jackass that is ripping off Alan's design did so legally--by altering the design by at least 40%. He made the knife about 50% smaller, so that it can't even fit in your first two fingers, even though it has three finger notches in the handle. He just blew the picture up in his adds so that it looked like it was large enough to use, when it clearly isn't. He also was smart enough not to put any of them on his table, because that would have started a riot. As it was, by the end of the first day, he was hiding in the back of the booth, with a woman (I think his wife) watching the counter, because of all the flack he had gotten over the knife. He caught hell for that all weekend, too, thanks to good people like the Jones Brothers, the folks from the Usual Suspects Network, the boys from Columbia River, and a whole lot of other folks.
Despite that jackass, Alan had a hell of a show--he sold out of just about everything he brought. I made the mistake of selling a bunch of his new S.P.E.W.s (Google Alan Folt's name or the CKRT website to see that knife and the three "Minimalist" designs that Columbia River Knife and Tool is producing for him) and a few other things, as well as all of Tommy's punch daggers and Ripcords and Darts and more crap than I can remember. Somehow, that means I have to sit the table at Blade next year while Tommy and Alan sleep in the hotel the whole weekend. No good deed goes unpunished.
Especially when you sell more of Tommy's knives than he does (by a ten-to-one margin).
Think I might have slept for a day straight. Left my damn pillow at the Sheraton in Atlanta--they are mailing it back to me, though I don't know yet how much that will cost. Had an awesome dinner with the Jones Brothers (Barry, Phillip, and Bob) at a little Italian place I can't remember the name of (best veal parmesan ever) but am damn sure going back to next year. Also had a great dinner with some old friends, Craig and April Nolan (glad yer still kickin' dude, too bad we didn't get to see the baby). They moved to Atlanta awhile back so we usually only get to see them at Blade.
The end of this week is the start of Aikido Camp (the Wadokai Gasshuku 2012). I might make a post before that, might not. I'll be in Cheraw, SC, sweating off some of my considerably large ass, for the next seven days after that.
I'll be back to rant at y'all then.
Despite that jackass, Alan had a hell of a show--he sold out of just about everything he brought. I made the mistake of selling a bunch of his new S.P.E.W.s (Google Alan Folt's name or the CKRT website to see that knife and the three "Minimalist" designs that Columbia River Knife and Tool is producing for him) and a few other things, as well as all of Tommy's punch daggers and Ripcords and Darts and more crap than I can remember. Somehow, that means I have to sit the table at Blade next year while Tommy and Alan sleep in the hotel the whole weekend. No good deed goes unpunished.
Especially when you sell more of Tommy's knives than he does (by a ten-to-one margin).
Think I might have slept for a day straight. Left my damn pillow at the Sheraton in Atlanta--they are mailing it back to me, though I don't know yet how much that will cost. Had an awesome dinner with the Jones Brothers (Barry, Phillip, and Bob) at a little Italian place I can't remember the name of (best veal parmesan ever) but am damn sure going back to next year. Also had a great dinner with some old friends, Craig and April Nolan (glad yer still kickin' dude, too bad we didn't get to see the baby). They moved to Atlanta awhile back so we usually only get to see them at Blade.
The end of this week is the start of Aikido Camp (the Wadokai Gasshuku 2012). I might make a post before that, might not. I'll be in Cheraw, SC, sweating off some of my considerably large ass, for the next seven days after that.
I'll be back to rant at y'all then.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
"Do what you love and love what you do."
Ray Bradbury said that. He died yesterday. When I read the news I took a moment to try and decide which of his works I liked he best. I couldn't. "Fahrenheit 451" was great, and is probably his best-known work, aside from "The Martian Chronicles." I liked "Something Wicked this Way Comes," it scared and delighted me in equal measure as a child. I also loved "Dandelion Wine" and "The Illustrated Man," as well. And too many of his other works to name here. Mr. Bradbury also wrote for TV and the big screen, in addition to being a poet. The loss his death has wrought on the world of literature (and the science fiction genre in particular) as well as the entertainment industry cannot adequately be described with words.
However, if--by some chance--you have no clue as to who this man was, please turn off your damn computer right now and go read a book.
Preferably one of his.
However, if--by some chance--you have no clue as to who this man was, please turn off your damn computer right now and go read a book.
Preferably one of his.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
This is one hell of a hand-me-down.
The CIA (everyone knows about them, they are the Central Intelligence Agency) and the NRO (the National Reconnaissance Office, who hardly anyone knows about, which is weird because they aren't that secret) are giving NASA (you can Google that acronym if you don't know it) two spy satellites to use. You can read the story at http://news.yahoo.com/u-spy-satellite-agency-gives-nasa-2-space-194916205.html. As a former Marine, I know a lot about doing more with less (as NASA is now), and getting hand-me-downs. And I am glad to see our government doing something smart for a change. I am a huge fan of NASA, I have been since I saw the first moon landing televised on July 16, 1969. I was two, and watched it with my grandmother at her house in Maryland. This is one of my earliest memories.
Anyway, NASA is going to use these spy satellites like the do they do the Hubble telescope, which has seen its' last servicing (back in 2009) and will be destroyed by crashing it into the Pacific Ocean once it is no longer operable. Unfortunately, these two satellites wont be re-tasked until 2020, so they wont be able to take pictures of Venus as it passes between our world and the Sun today (and you can read about that at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/9311341/Venus-due-to-pass-between-Earth-and-Sun-in-rare-astronomical-event.html). This is the second and last day of the event. Check it out while you can, it's a once in a lifetime experience.
Unless you are planning to still be alive in December of 2117, that is.
Anyway, NASA is going to use these spy satellites like the do they do the Hubble telescope, which has seen its' last servicing (back in 2009) and will be destroyed by crashing it into the Pacific Ocean once it is no longer operable. Unfortunately, these two satellites wont be re-tasked until 2020, so they wont be able to take pictures of Venus as it passes between our world and the Sun today (and you can read about that at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/9311341/Venus-due-to-pass-between-Earth-and-Sun-in-rare-astronomical-event.html). This is the second and last day of the event. Check it out while you can, it's a once in a lifetime experience.
Unless you are planning to still be alive in December of 2117, that is.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I have a few rules I live by.
We will call these "Mike's Laws," and I will dole them out as I remember them or see fit. Here's a couple so y'all can see what you're in for.
1. Never volunteer for ANYTHING. It's surprising how often this one gets broken. Anyone with who has done some military service can tell y'all the 'why' of this rule.
2. Don't put your dick in a crazy bitch. This law has a corollary for women regarding crazy men: don't let a crazy bastard put his dick in you. It's the same for both sexes: it look's like a fun ride, but so does riding that couch with no legs that's been tied to the back of your drunk cousin's pickup truck. The only difference is that 'crazy' is a slightly longer ride, and will end even more painfully.
3. Never wipe your ass with a razor-leafed plant. Or one that is poisonous, pointy, or anything else that is otherwise harmful to humans and their asses. This happens more than you might think, particularly at night, in places where things like pampas grass grows. Or poison ivy. So, if you know you're going to have to poop in the woods, try t learn just a little about the local flora. (This one dates back to well before my time in the Marines and is one of the few I was able to learn by someone else's 'experience'.)
4. Be wary of dating women who are good with horses. They know how to get animals much larger (and usually stupider) than they are to do whatever they want.
I reckon that's enough for now.
1. Never volunteer for ANYTHING. It's surprising how often this one gets broken. Anyone with who has done some military service can tell y'all the 'why' of this rule.
2. Don't put your dick in a crazy bitch. This law has a corollary for women regarding crazy men: don't let a crazy bastard put his dick in you. It's the same for both sexes: it look's like a fun ride, but so does riding that couch with no legs that's been tied to the back of your drunk cousin's pickup truck. The only difference is that 'crazy' is a slightly longer ride, and will end even more painfully.
3. Never wipe your ass with a razor-leafed plant. Or one that is poisonous, pointy, or anything else that is otherwise harmful to humans and their asses. This happens more than you might think, particularly at night, in places where things like pampas grass grows. Or poison ivy. So, if you know you're going to have to poop in the woods, try t learn just a little about the local flora. (This one dates back to well before my time in the Marines and is one of the few I was able to learn by someone else's 'experience'.)
4. Be wary of dating women who are good with horses. They know how to get animals much larger (and usually stupider) than they are to do whatever they want.
I reckon that's enough for now.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Those who can't, steal.
My latest rant is about Tribal Knife and Tactical. They have just started selling a 'new' line of custom neck knives. You can see them at http://www.tribalknifeusa.com/-strse-Custom-Neck-Knives/Categories.bok --and please feel free to contact them (at Sales@TribalKnifeUSA.com or by calling them at 877-504-2452) to ask them why their 'custom' neck knives look exactly like the Folts 'Minimalist' (you can see one at http://www.crkt.com/Folts-Minimalist-Neck-Knife-Razor-Sharp-Edge --or just Google 'Folts Minimalist' and see how many pages of legit adds come up) that he licensed to Columbia river Knife and Tool (CKRT for everyone but the knife geeks). I have contacted them (Tribal), but they seem reluctant to respond.
I have known Alan Folts a long time. The man is family to me. So, to see someone stealing from him pisses me off. If you know me on Facebook, you might have seen some of the posts about this. They are trying to make it look like they have his custom design, rather than some cheap-ass production model knife--and they aren't even crediting him for the design. CKRT is selling Alan's knife for about $35-$40. You can find the Columbia River model even cheaper on Ebay, for around $20 or so, not including shipping. Alan sells the ones he personally makes starting somewhere north of $100. He has earned it; the world's largest knife maker has grabbed up several of his designs. Hopefully Columbia river will do something about it, the word is that they are investigating now.
I kind of hope they don't get done before the Blade Show (http://www.bladeshow.com/ehome/31379/49746/ --and I actually did contact them about this, so who knows, they might do something, but I haven't heard anything back yet). It's the world's largest knife show, held in Atlanta, GA, in early June every year. I want to see these rip-offs on their table. Because I will be the loudest one in the crowd yelling at them to get 'em off the table and get their asses out the door.
And, just in case these guys are real jackasses about it (fingers crossed, hoping with all my black little heart)...anyone got my back if I need bail money?
I have known Alan Folts a long time. The man is family to me. So, to see someone stealing from him pisses me off. If you know me on Facebook, you might have seen some of the posts about this. They are trying to make it look like they have his custom design, rather than some cheap-ass production model knife--and they aren't even crediting him for the design. CKRT is selling Alan's knife for about $35-$40. You can find the Columbia River model even cheaper on Ebay, for around $20 or so, not including shipping. Alan sells the ones he personally makes starting somewhere north of $100. He has earned it; the world's largest knife maker has grabbed up several of his designs. Hopefully Columbia river will do something about it, the word is that they are investigating now.
I kind of hope they don't get done before the Blade Show (http://www.bladeshow.com/ehome/31379/49746/ --and I actually did contact them about this, so who knows, they might do something, but I haven't heard anything back yet). It's the world's largest knife show, held in Atlanta, GA, in early June every year. I want to see these rip-offs on their table. Because I will be the loudest one in the crowd yelling at them to get 'em off the table and get their asses out the door.
And, just in case these guys are real jackasses about it (fingers crossed, hoping with all my black little heart)...anyone got my back if I need bail money?
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
The new hate.
I would have made a post over a week ago, but I have found a new level of stupidity and incompetence in the world to hate and that held me up. The new hate is Sudddenlink Communications, who you can find at http://www.suddenlink.com/.
They recently announced restrictions on the amount of Internet their customers can use. My hookup is 50mbps speed (every geek reading this just had to go change their pants) which falls into their 'over 20mbps' category, allowing for 350gb a month. That's upload and download. We watch Hulu and Netflix. My brother and I are beta-testing "The Secret World" and "Diablo III" just dropped. We have a roomate who is a World of Warcraft junky. So I guess we might be hogging some bandwidth. Of course, 350gb is only 20 or so movies, if I watch them in streaming high-def. How many movies do you watch a month? Or TV programs? Because that's only about 13 hours of Hulu.
When I originally got the plan it was because you can watch pretty much anything you could want between Netflix and Hulu, or on any of the major network's sites. So all I wanted was internet, and therefore I bought their biggest plan. Suddenlink promised me unlimited usage. That didn't even last a year.
Anyway, what this brain trust did to 'punish' us was partially cut our internet. Specifically, they blocked some sites...YouTube, Google, and Facebook (and some other ones but these are the big ones). They left some other things alone...like Yahoo and MySpace. It took a two hour long phone call with their incredibly incompetent staff to find out that once they set this system in place, they had no idea how to turn it off. It didn't have an 'off' button.
Oh, and that we weren't the only people that they had done this to.
The best part? They had to start prorating our bill to account for their screw-up. Even better, they charge you $10.00 for every 50gb you go over, but not until the third infraction. So, in an effort to bully me out of zero dollars, these utter morons cost themselves about $17.00. I wonder how many other customers of theirs they had to prorate. It would be interesting to know just how much money this cost them.
Now, I would have been fine had they just shot me a warning, or charged me ten bucks, and gone on their merry way. But no, they had to screw with me, so I am screwing back. It starts here. It also includes emails (already sent those) and probably snail mails (ain't sent those yet) to Google and Facebook. After all, they have billions of dollars and armies of lawyers. I'm just one guy with a blog and an attitude problem. I am also asking every person who reads this to call Suddenlink and complain about this policy, and the horrible static-filled crap they call music they make you listen to while on hold. Please do this even if you aren't a customer, and direct them to this blog if you want. (Really, please direct them here!) There's a link on their website for phone numbers and another to contact them by email.
And if you happen to one of those Suddenlink jerk-offs that were screwing with me and you are reading this now (and hopefully getting your ass sued off by Google and Facebook), then here's a big "fuck you."
Because that would mean I just won.
They recently announced restrictions on the amount of Internet their customers can use. My hookup is 50mbps speed (every geek reading this just had to go change their pants) which falls into their 'over 20mbps' category, allowing for 350gb a month. That's upload and download. We watch Hulu and Netflix. My brother and I are beta-testing "The Secret World" and "Diablo III" just dropped. We have a roomate who is a World of Warcraft junky. So I guess we might be hogging some bandwidth. Of course, 350gb is only 20 or so movies, if I watch them in streaming high-def. How many movies do you watch a month? Or TV programs? Because that's only about 13 hours of Hulu.
When I originally got the plan it was because you can watch pretty much anything you could want between Netflix and Hulu, or on any of the major network's sites. So all I wanted was internet, and therefore I bought their biggest plan. Suddenlink promised me unlimited usage. That didn't even last a year.
Anyway, what this brain trust did to 'punish' us was partially cut our internet. Specifically, they blocked some sites...YouTube, Google, and Facebook (and some other ones but these are the big ones). They left some other things alone...like Yahoo and MySpace. It took a two hour long phone call with their incredibly incompetent staff to find out that once they set this system in place, they had no idea how to turn it off. It didn't have an 'off' button.
Oh, and that we weren't the only people that they had done this to.
The best part? They had to start prorating our bill to account for their screw-up. Even better, they charge you $10.00 for every 50gb you go over, but not until the third infraction. So, in an effort to bully me out of zero dollars, these utter morons cost themselves about $17.00. I wonder how many other customers of theirs they had to prorate. It would be interesting to know just how much money this cost them.
Now, I would have been fine had they just shot me a warning, or charged me ten bucks, and gone on their merry way. But no, they had to screw with me, so I am screwing back. It starts here. It also includes emails (already sent those) and probably snail mails (ain't sent those yet) to Google and Facebook. After all, they have billions of dollars and armies of lawyers. I'm just one guy with a blog and an attitude problem. I am also asking every person who reads this to call Suddenlink and complain about this policy, and the horrible static-filled crap they call music they make you listen to while on hold. Please do this even if you aren't a customer, and direct them to this blog if you want. (Really, please direct them here!) There's a link on their website for phone numbers and another to contact them by email.
And if you happen to one of those Suddenlink jerk-offs that were screwing with me and you are reading this now (and hopefully getting your ass sued off by Google and Facebook), then here's a big "fuck you."
Because that would mean I just won.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Next time, I'm going to Redbox.
I just got back from seeing the latest Marvel movie, "The Avengers." Stay after the movie ends because there are two Easter eggs. I liked the movie alot, but I'm pissed off. We (my girl, her son, my brother, and two friends) got to the midnight showing at 23:15 (11:15PM) to make sure we could get seats where we wanted, and all together. At 23:29 the commercials started. They ended at 00:25 (twenty-five minutes after midnight). At $16.00 a ticket, times six tickets, is 96 bucks--to watch 56 minutes of advertising before getting what we paid to see. About four minutes of that was previews for new movies, the new Batman and Spider-Man being the most notable, so let's call it 52 minutes. That's still on the bad side of 'pretty fucked up.' For $96.00, you should shut all that crap up and just show me the movie...and give me all the damn popcorn and sodas I can hold.
Now, at this point, I would like to respond in a reasonable and articulate fashion to our treatment at the hands of the celluloid mafia.
Unfortunately, I am unable to do so...so, fuck Carmike Cinemas, Hollywood, and Marvel Comics in their collective asses. With a jackhammer. That has been mounted onto the front of an inbound cruise missile. That is nuclear-capable. And I'd like to see a little sandpaper wrapped around the end of that jackhammer, too, now that I think about it. And is there any way to work a chainsaw in there? Like right on the end?
Wait, I'm getting off the point here, let's get back to the message:
We pay the outrageous ticket prices for your movies. We even put up with extortionate theater prices for beverages and snacks. Not to mention the indifferent staff and all the gum on the floor and parking hassles and everything else. Why must you fuck with us even more? Are you people thieves, incredibly greedy, or just fucking stupid?
Aha...I think I have found the reason. It's all three. Or, to put it another way:
You're a bunch of total assholes.
Now, at this point, I would like to respond in a reasonable and articulate fashion to our treatment at the hands of the celluloid mafia.
Unfortunately, I am unable to do so...so, fuck Carmike Cinemas, Hollywood, and Marvel Comics in their collective asses. With a jackhammer. That has been mounted onto the front of an inbound cruise missile. That is nuclear-capable. And I'd like to see a little sandpaper wrapped around the end of that jackhammer, too, now that I think about it. And is there any way to work a chainsaw in there? Like right on the end?
Wait, I'm getting off the point here, let's get back to the message:
We pay the outrageous ticket prices for your movies. We even put up with extortionate theater prices for beverages and snacks. Not to mention the indifferent staff and all the gum on the floor and parking hassles and everything else. Why must you fuck with us even more? Are you people thieves, incredibly greedy, or just fucking stupid?
Aha...I think I have found the reason. It's all three. Or, to put it another way:
You're a bunch of total assholes.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
This one's about God.
I usually refrain from speaking about two topics, religion and politics. Those are the two fastest ways I know to lose friends. However, in this post, I am going to break that rule.
Here's the deal. When you took at something, let's say an unpainted wooden chair, you make some assumptions. The first is that the chair is brown, because wood looks to be that color. In truth, wood is not brown, it is every color but brown, and because it is all those colors, it absorbs those colors of light and only reflects the color it isn't. So we don't know the color of the chair.
The second assumption you make is that it is a chair. Since we cannot occupy the same space as the chair, we don't know that is is really a chair. It might be a better doorstop, or speed bump, anything else. We grope blindly around the edges of the thing and then use it in the first (or most convenient) manner that we see fit.
This is how man uses God. We cannot know or see God, we can only grope blindly around the edges of the concept of God. We do not know or understand God, we just use the idea of God to further our petty ideals, whether they be a suicide bombing, a witch burning, or a trek across some desert.
I wish I could show everyone why this is perfectly reasonable, but religion is one of those areas where people are not open to reasonable discourse.
Don't misunderstand me. I am not arguing that there is no God, or that religion is bad. I merely think that Man (and Woman, for that matter) misuse religion in some instances. (Maybe that 'some' should read 'many.') I can understand (and also believe) Socrates' argument for the immortality of the soul in "The Apology." My understanding of science, as well, has shown me that the universe is governed by order, by a set of rules. It works like one of those old pocket watches that your grandfather might have worn. An impossible to count number of little gears and springs and cogs all working together in perfect harmony. This could not have happened by accident.
Therefore, there must be a 'watchmaker.'
But Man (and Woman, for that matter) is a petty and silly critter and twists the idea of God (as well as religion) to his own ends. A lot of mischief has been done to this end. Just look at the stupidity the Westboro Baptist church gets up to at every military funeral they can manage to attend. They verbally attack the families of men and women who have died--in combat--to protect their right to free speech. While these veterans are being interred.
There is no excuse for this behavior, it is unconscionable.
I honestly couldn't give two shits what your religious views are. The only thing worse than being the dipshit that does this is being the dipshit that allows someone to think like this for you in the first place.
Here's the deal. When you took at something, let's say an unpainted wooden chair, you make some assumptions. The first is that the chair is brown, because wood looks to be that color. In truth, wood is not brown, it is every color but brown, and because it is all those colors, it absorbs those colors of light and only reflects the color it isn't. So we don't know the color of the chair.
The second assumption you make is that it is a chair. Since we cannot occupy the same space as the chair, we don't know that is is really a chair. It might be a better doorstop, or speed bump, anything else. We grope blindly around the edges of the thing and then use it in the first (or most convenient) manner that we see fit.
This is how man uses God. We cannot know or see God, we can only grope blindly around the edges of the concept of God. We do not know or understand God, we just use the idea of God to further our petty ideals, whether they be a suicide bombing, a witch burning, or a trek across some desert.
I wish I could show everyone why this is perfectly reasonable, but religion is one of those areas where people are not open to reasonable discourse.
Don't misunderstand me. I am not arguing that there is no God, or that religion is bad. I merely think that Man (and Woman, for that matter) misuse religion in some instances. (Maybe that 'some' should read 'many.') I can understand (and also believe) Socrates' argument for the immortality of the soul in "The Apology." My understanding of science, as well, has shown me that the universe is governed by order, by a set of rules. It works like one of those old pocket watches that your grandfather might have worn. An impossible to count number of little gears and springs and cogs all working together in perfect harmony. This could not have happened by accident.
Therefore, there must be a 'watchmaker.'
But Man (and Woman, for that matter) is a petty and silly critter and twists the idea of God (as well as religion) to his own ends. A lot of mischief has been done to this end. Just look at the stupidity the Westboro Baptist church gets up to at every military funeral they can manage to attend. They verbally attack the families of men and women who have died--in combat--to protect their right to free speech. While these veterans are being interred.
There is no excuse for this behavior, it is unconscionable.
I honestly couldn't give two shits what your religious views are. The only thing worse than being the dipshit that does this is being the dipshit that allows someone to think like this for you in the first place.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The world is now a little less shiny.
Levon Helm, who sang and played drums with The Band, died on 19APR2012. If you don't know who I am talking about, check out YouTube, look for 'The Band,' and you can learn.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
You're on your own.
I should call this blog the WTF page, because it is usually those '"What the fuck?" moments in life that cause me to write here. Here's the latest.
Last Wednesday (18APR2012) at the dojo (http://aikidoarnisoffarmville.blogspot.com/) a few of us started talking after class. Kitty Genovese was brought up. For those of you unfamiliar with her, Catherine Genovese was a young woman who was murdered on 13MAR1964, just outside her Kew Gardens apartment in New York city. You can Google her name to get all the details, but I'll relate some here. 38 (that's thirty-eight) people watched her get stabbed repeatedly. Her attacker left three times, only to come back each time and stab her some more, over a period of roughly thirty minutes. No one helped an attractive and helpless young woman as she screamed and plead and died. Instead, they watched.
Some of you may remember this more recent incident from the news. On 27OCT2009 a fifteen year old girl was leaving her homecoming dance at 21:30 (that's 9:30 PM to those of you with no military background) in Richmond, California, when she was attacked and gang raped for over two and a half hours. You can find a piece of the story at http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/east_bay&id=7084114 (and I know shouldn't be surprised by how many gang-rape porn sites were brought up as I tried to search for this through supposedly legit news sources but somehow I was, go figure). The onlookers not only did not help, they laughed and cheered the attackers on. Some joined in. Others took photos and video.
Here's another one from the news. On 16NOV2010 Bill Nye ("Bill Nye the Science Guy," for those of you with kids and the Disney channel) was giving a lecture at USC (that's the University of Southern California) when he collapsed. The audience did nothing to help. Instead, they pulled out their phones and started tweeting and taking video. Check YouTube if you are morbid enough, the videos are still there.
In my experience, almost everyone has a comic book inside their head. In it they are the superhero and live a life of adventure and adversity. This is not reality, it is a coping mechanism because the world is not the fairy-tale spongecake fantasy you were fed as a child. In reality, there are no superheroes, just ordinary mortals who are typically apathetic, criminal, or ruled by their fears.
In truth, people are alot like teapots: the closer you inspect them, the more cracks you can see in the glaze.
This is the part where those who know me would expect me to start displaying my admittedly abundant knowledge of profanity--fuck this, that, and the other, and so on. Honestly, I just don't have the space here to put all that down, so let's pretend I did and move on.)
There is no excuse for the behavior these people displayed. Or for anyone on the planet. If you feel even the slightest outrage, that shows you have a little humanity left, especially if you have ever stopped to help someone in need. I know I have, and way more than once. If this post makes you think of a moment in your past when you should have made a 911 call, or pulled over to help the accident victims of the crash you just witnessed, or turned the TV up so you wouldn't hear the sounds of the guy next door beating the shit out of his wife and kids, I hope the shame haunts you forever. As for the people above and anyone else who responds in their kind of fashion, I hope that your time in Hell is a reflection of the torment you witnessed but did nothing about.
I have a thing for that kind of irony.
Anyway, time to get to the point. There is probably not going to be any help for you when you get into trouble. If you cannot rely on yourself, if you have not made some kind of attempt to prepare yourself for the inevitable time that something bad will happen to you, you will end up like Kitty Genovese, or the 15 year old girl, or worse. Buy a gun and learn to use it--especially if you are a woman. Learn the basics of first-aid and self-defense. Learn to be aware of your environment. Keep a first-aid kit and a fire extinguisher in your home. But don't expect help, because there is no cavalry, no knight in shining armor, or guy in a cape and long blue underwear coming to your aid. Just a bunch of dipshits with camera phones and YouTube accounts.
Unless you'd like to get off your ass and show the other monkeys what they should be doing, get used to this idea: you are on your own.
Last Wednesday (18APR2012) at the dojo (http://aikidoarnisoffarmville.blogspot.com/) a few of us started talking after class. Kitty Genovese was brought up. For those of you unfamiliar with her, Catherine Genovese was a young woman who was murdered on 13MAR1964, just outside her Kew Gardens apartment in New York city. You can Google her name to get all the details, but I'll relate some here. 38 (that's thirty-eight) people watched her get stabbed repeatedly. Her attacker left three times, only to come back each time and stab her some more, over a period of roughly thirty minutes. No one helped an attractive and helpless young woman as she screamed and plead and died. Instead, they watched.
Some of you may remember this more recent incident from the news. On 27OCT2009 a fifteen year old girl was leaving her homecoming dance at 21:30 (that's 9:30 PM to those of you with no military background) in Richmond, California, when she was attacked and gang raped for over two and a half hours. You can find a piece of the story at http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/east_bay&id=7084114 (and I know shouldn't be surprised by how many gang-rape porn sites were brought up as I tried to search for this through supposedly legit news sources but somehow I was, go figure). The onlookers not only did not help, they laughed and cheered the attackers on. Some joined in. Others took photos and video.
Here's another one from the news. On 16NOV2010 Bill Nye ("Bill Nye the Science Guy," for those of you with kids and the Disney channel) was giving a lecture at USC (that's the University of Southern California) when he collapsed. The audience did nothing to help. Instead, they pulled out their phones and started tweeting and taking video. Check YouTube if you are morbid enough, the videos are still there.
In my experience, almost everyone has a comic book inside their head. In it they are the superhero and live a life of adventure and adversity. This is not reality, it is a coping mechanism because the world is not the fairy-tale spongecake fantasy you were fed as a child. In reality, there are no superheroes, just ordinary mortals who are typically apathetic, criminal, or ruled by their fears.
In truth, people are alot like teapots: the closer you inspect them, the more cracks you can see in the glaze.
This is the part where those who know me would expect me to start displaying my admittedly abundant knowledge of profanity--fuck this, that, and the other, and so on. Honestly, I just don't have the space here to put all that down, so let's pretend I did and move on.)
There is no excuse for the behavior these people displayed. Or for anyone on the planet. If you feel even the slightest outrage, that shows you have a little humanity left, especially if you have ever stopped to help someone in need. I know I have, and way more than once. If this post makes you think of a moment in your past when you should have made a 911 call, or pulled over to help the accident victims of the crash you just witnessed, or turned the TV up so you wouldn't hear the sounds of the guy next door beating the shit out of his wife and kids, I hope the shame haunts you forever. As for the people above and anyone else who responds in their kind of fashion, I hope that your time in Hell is a reflection of the torment you witnessed but did nothing about.
I have a thing for that kind of irony.
Anyway, time to get to the point. There is probably not going to be any help for you when you get into trouble. If you cannot rely on yourself, if you have not made some kind of attempt to prepare yourself for the inevitable time that something bad will happen to you, you will end up like Kitty Genovese, or the 15 year old girl, or worse. Buy a gun and learn to use it--especially if you are a woman. Learn the basics of first-aid and self-defense. Learn to be aware of your environment. Keep a first-aid kit and a fire extinguisher in your home. But don't expect help, because there is no cavalry, no knight in shining armor, or guy in a cape and long blue underwear coming to your aid. Just a bunch of dipshits with camera phones and YouTube accounts.
Unless you'd like to get off your ass and show the other monkeys what they should be doing, get used to this idea: you are on your own.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
There's blood in the water.
It started out with Trayvon Martin's. It will probably end up with George Zimmerman's. NBC creatively editing the 911 call to make it appear that Zimmerman was targeting Martin because he was black was the work of an individual who wanted their feelings to be your ideas. It was a stupid move. Just as stupid as Spike Lee re-tweeting Zimmerman's address (what kind of a dumbass would do such a thing, anyway?), which turned out to be the wrong address, too, so now a totally innocent family is living in fear because some idiot jumped to his prejudices instead of his common sense.
Understand me, I am not advocating this case one way or another. And that's the point--neither should you or anyone else. Wait until all the evidence is in and the courts have made their decisions regarding the matter. Candle-lit vigils and camera time for any jackass with an inflammatory opinion are not what matters. If the media (or conveniently roused-to-ire mobs) decided the outcome of our legal issues we wouldn't be living in a democracy--it would be a monarchy and Jerry Springer would be the king.
It is unfortunate, but the Edward R. Murrow days of honesty and integrity are gone. News isn't reported anymore. It is sensationalized, and in some cases deliberately distorted, in order to earn networks more money. The people you see on TV reporting the news are not journalists, they are actors playing a role. Their job is to control the way you think. I find this behavior so offensive that I lack a vocabulary crude enough to give it the condemnation it deserves, but I can understand it. Some people will do anything to make a buck. But there is something even worse than that: participating in the carnival of stupid they offer.
Letting those jackasses win, allowing them to do your thinking for you, is unforgivable.
Understand me, I am not advocating this case one way or another. And that's the point--neither should you or anyone else. Wait until all the evidence is in and the courts have made their decisions regarding the matter. Candle-lit vigils and camera time for any jackass with an inflammatory opinion are not what matters. If the media (or conveniently roused-to-ire mobs) decided the outcome of our legal issues we wouldn't be living in a democracy--it would be a monarchy and Jerry Springer would be the king.
It is unfortunate, but the Edward R. Murrow days of honesty and integrity are gone. News isn't reported anymore. It is sensationalized, and in some cases deliberately distorted, in order to earn networks more money. The people you see on TV reporting the news are not journalists, they are actors playing a role. Their job is to control the way you think. I find this behavior so offensive that I lack a vocabulary crude enough to give it the condemnation it deserves, but I can understand it. Some people will do anything to make a buck. But there is something even worse than that: participating in the carnival of stupid they offer.
Letting those jackasses win, allowing them to do your thinking for you, is unforgivable.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Be prepared.
It's a lot more than the Boy Scout motto. Being prepared is all about shifting the odds from you being a victim to being a survivor. This applies to everything in life. Here's one example: anyone who lives on the East Coast, especially in the Southern states, knows to be prepared for hurricanes. You put at least a week's worth of food in the pantry and fill the tub with water before the storm hits. You keep batteries and candles and an extra propane tank for the grill handy. And lots of other crap. Because we all know that you could have to ride a storm and the after-effects out for days, perhaps even weeks. However, taking steps to ensure your survival should go further than just guarding against acts of nature.
People usually live their lives violence-free. This is how it is supposed to be, but not always how it works. Locally, we had a small, family-owned convenience store get robbed. All three of the men working that night were murdered by the thieves. They handed over the money promptly and without resistance, remained calm in the face of danger, and did everything else they could to comply with the criminals. And they got shot to death for their efforts. Here's a link to cut-and-paste for those of you reading this from outside of North Carolina:
http://www.witn.com/home/headlines/Search_For_Killers_Continues_146037285.html
The murderers have been caught and I am confident that they will spend a great deal of time in jail for their crimes. That does fuck-all for the people that had their store robbed and family members murdered. The unhappy truth of the matter is this: sometimes, no matter what you do to avoid it, violence will happen to you and yours. Some people can't be talked out of it. It is what they want, and they will have their way no matter what you want. If anyone had survived the 9/11 hijackings they could tell you the same thing. The best thing you can do is to be prepared. This doesn't necessarily mean toting a gun with you everywhere, although that is one hell of a deterrent. A knife is another. Learning to be environmentally aware is a really important skill to develop. Training is another thing to consider, with that gun or knife, or in some kind of self-defense art. The importance of this cannot be understated. It prepares you for the mindset you need in violent (pr otherwise dangerous) situations. Many people are unprepared for this, untrained for this, and so the aggressor has a tremendous advantage.
I can't say for certain that any of these things could have saved the three men mentioned above. All I can say is that it would definitely have increased the odds of their survival. And that is the best you can do.
People usually live their lives violence-free. This is how it is supposed to be, but not always how it works. Locally, we had a small, family-owned convenience store get robbed. All three of the men working that night were murdered by the thieves. They handed over the money promptly and without resistance, remained calm in the face of danger, and did everything else they could to comply with the criminals. And they got shot to death for their efforts. Here's a link to cut-and-paste for those of you reading this from outside of North Carolina:
http://www.witn.com/home/headlines/Search_For_Killers_Continues_146037285.html
The murderers have been caught and I am confident that they will spend a great deal of time in jail for their crimes. That does fuck-all for the people that had their store robbed and family members murdered. The unhappy truth of the matter is this: sometimes, no matter what you do to avoid it, violence will happen to you and yours. Some people can't be talked out of it. It is what they want, and they will have their way no matter what you want. If anyone had survived the 9/11 hijackings they could tell you the same thing. The best thing you can do is to be prepared. This doesn't necessarily mean toting a gun with you everywhere, although that is one hell of a deterrent. A knife is another. Learning to be environmentally aware is a really important skill to develop. Training is another thing to consider, with that gun or knife, or in some kind of self-defense art. The importance of this cannot be understated. It prepares you for the mindset you need in violent (pr otherwise dangerous) situations. Many people are unprepared for this, untrained for this, and so the aggressor has a tremendous advantage.
I can't say for certain that any of these things could have saved the three men mentioned above. All I can say is that it would definitely have increased the odds of their survival. And that is the best you can do.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
You have the power.
I fucking hate Rush Limbaugh. And Glenn Beck, too, that guy is a total asshole. Add Howard Stern and Imus to that list as well. I also think that TV and movie stars--or any other kind of entertainer for that matter--who try to use their celebrity to influence my thinking (about politics or whatever the current popular cause is in Hollywood) are complete fucking idiots.
Imus got fired from his job for saying something stupid. The Dixie Chicks had to suffer for some remarks they made. Rush Limbaugh is losing sponsors left and right because of his own stupidity. Jesse Ventura got punched in the mouth by Chris Kyle for spouting off. Google that one if y'all don't know the story. There are lots of other examples, but the point is, speech isn't as free as you think. Legally, you can say pretty much anything you want as long as you don't incite violence toward anyone. Hell, the First Amendment doesn't even say that, that's just how the legal beagles in our court system have worked it out over the years. But running your yap can sometimes cost you, as the aforementioned knuckleheads have come to find out.
Understand that I am not condoning or condemning the public backlash against anyone foolish enough to earn the whimsical wrath of the American people. Instead, I would like to offer a solution to the problem of oral diarrhea that seems to plague so many public figures:
Just don't listen to them.
You don't like what someone on TV has to say? Turn the channel. On the radio? Find another station. In a book? Then don't read it. You don't like porn? Then quit looking at it. Because these people have every right to spout whatever kind of crap they want. It's useless to start a whining contest about someone else's rhetoric. If you really want to make an impact on what kind of people work in the business of feeding you information, just exercise your right to not listen. Imagine if nobody tuned into CNN's 24-7 election coverage to watch Wolf Blitzer stand around twiddling his thumbs while no data comes in from poling stations and yet they try to make you think it's the most important thing in the world. They would have to stop being idiots because it would stop making them money. I've said it before and I will say it again: stupidity should be painful. You have an easy way to make it so for all of these talking heads:
Turn the damn channel already.
Imus got fired from his job for saying something stupid. The Dixie Chicks had to suffer for some remarks they made. Rush Limbaugh is losing sponsors left and right because of his own stupidity. Jesse Ventura got punched in the mouth by Chris Kyle for spouting off. Google that one if y'all don't know the story. There are lots of other examples, but the point is, speech isn't as free as you think. Legally, you can say pretty much anything you want as long as you don't incite violence toward anyone. Hell, the First Amendment doesn't even say that, that's just how the legal beagles in our court system have worked it out over the years. But running your yap can sometimes cost you, as the aforementioned knuckleheads have come to find out.
Understand that I am not condoning or condemning the public backlash against anyone foolish enough to earn the whimsical wrath of the American people. Instead, I would like to offer a solution to the problem of oral diarrhea that seems to plague so many public figures:
Just don't listen to them.
You don't like what someone on TV has to say? Turn the channel. On the radio? Find another station. In a book? Then don't read it. You don't like porn? Then quit looking at it. Because these people have every right to spout whatever kind of crap they want. It's useless to start a whining contest about someone else's rhetoric. If you really want to make an impact on what kind of people work in the business of feeding you information, just exercise your right to not listen. Imagine if nobody tuned into CNN's 24-7 election coverage to watch Wolf Blitzer stand around twiddling his thumbs while no data comes in from poling stations and yet they try to make you think it's the most important thing in the world. They would have to stop being idiots because it would stop making them money. I've said it before and I will say it again: stupidity should be painful. You have an easy way to make it so for all of these talking heads:
Turn the damn channel already.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I want to start a new business.
I haven't come up with a name for it yet, but my title will be "Punisher of Stupid." I will avail myself to all who need my service. My business plan is simple: stupidity should be painful and I will make it so on one level or another. The idiot that shoves their way onto a crowded elevator as soon as the doors open (rather than waiting for people to exit), the moron who whips past you at 60mph in a 20mph zone to cut in front of you half a car length before a stop sign and locks up their brakes, or anyone you've ever seen on an episode of "Jerry Springer" are the kinds of people I am talking about. Senators and congressmen/women are also prime targets. What I plan to do is have the oldest, wrinkliest, dirtiest, fattest, and most uninhibited person I can find dress up as an FTD (or Fed-Ex or UPS or whatever) delivery person and make delivery of a very special package to the stupid person in question. At the moment of delivery, they strip off their uniform (like in the "Full Monty" movie) and start swinging all their old wrinkly bits about while singing "The Asshole Song" or something similar. All of their old, dirty, and especially dangly bits will be appropriately covered with something sequined and sporting a tassel of some sort. This will be done as the package is ceremoniously opened, revealing a thoughtfully arranged bouquet of dildos.
Of course, that would only be for male or lesbian clients. For the gay men and straight women, those fake rubber vaginas would serve just as well. Cost of delivery would include the price of the dildos (or vaginas), travel, and bail for the delivery person. If anyone would like to invest, send me a lot of money now and get in on the ground floor.
Of course, that would only be for male or lesbian clients. For the gay men and straight women, those fake rubber vaginas would serve just as well. Cost of delivery would include the price of the dildos (or vaginas), travel, and bail for the delivery person. If anyone would like to invest, send me a lot of money now and get in on the ground floor.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
All dogs bite.
I have two canines. Both have some wolf in them. The male weighs in at a hundred pounds, the female about sixty. They are attractive, well-mannered animals, with pleasant dispositions. They constantly garner attention because of this. Most of the time the person or people who are approaching them ask the same question:
"Does your dog bite?"
I always reply with the only truthful answer there is to that question:
"All dogs bite."
Then I go on to explain that if they are willing to treat the animals with respect and courtesy that it will be returned. Hold your hand down so that they may sniff it first. If the animal turns away, growls, or otherwise acts in a fashion that is not outgoing, it is best to leave it alone. If the animal rubs against your hand or licks you or otherwise acts in a friendly fashion, then the petting may ensue.
Really stupid people commit three dog sins. Two are unforgivable.
The thing I can forgive, but not condone, is done out of ignorance and fear. A tentative or fearful person will nervously reach high into the air over the animal's head to try and sneak a pet in without the animal's consent. This is how most people get bitten. Think about it. If I walked up to you on the street and suddenly reached up behind your neck, you would more than likely react in a violent way as well. So why try it with another living thing, if you wouldn't want it done to yourself?
The first unforgivable sin is committed by stupid dog owners. They all tell the same lie, "My dog doesn't bite." This is often delivered in an exclamatory tone, usually as their animal is attacking another animal or person. That makes as much sense to me as punching someone in the face and then saying, "I don't punch people," as you continue to hit them.
In most of the instances I have seen when this happens, the stupid dog owner was committing the second unforgivable sin: walking their animal without a leash. This includes letting it run loose in your yard, if it is not fenced in. No matter how nice the animal's personality is, or how long you have known the dog to react with Buddha-like serenity to any of your foolishness or that of others, it is still an animal. If the animal is not under your control, you really cannot say what it will or will not do...but I can:
Given the right provocation, your dog (or anyone else's) will bite, fight, and even kill. Typically, most will also give up their life for you for the sake of nothing more than a kind word. But they cannot understand laws or codes of moral obligations.
That is your job.
Because all dogs bite.
"Does your dog bite?"
I always reply with the only truthful answer there is to that question:
"All dogs bite."
Then I go on to explain that if they are willing to treat the animals with respect and courtesy that it will be returned. Hold your hand down so that they may sniff it first. If the animal turns away, growls, or otherwise acts in a fashion that is not outgoing, it is best to leave it alone. If the animal rubs against your hand or licks you or otherwise acts in a friendly fashion, then the petting may ensue.
Really stupid people commit three dog sins. Two are unforgivable.
The thing I can forgive, but not condone, is done out of ignorance and fear. A tentative or fearful person will nervously reach high into the air over the animal's head to try and sneak a pet in without the animal's consent. This is how most people get bitten. Think about it. If I walked up to you on the street and suddenly reached up behind your neck, you would more than likely react in a violent way as well. So why try it with another living thing, if you wouldn't want it done to yourself?
The first unforgivable sin is committed by stupid dog owners. They all tell the same lie, "My dog doesn't bite." This is often delivered in an exclamatory tone, usually as their animal is attacking another animal or person. That makes as much sense to me as punching someone in the face and then saying, "I don't punch people," as you continue to hit them.
In most of the instances I have seen when this happens, the stupid dog owner was committing the second unforgivable sin: walking their animal without a leash. This includes letting it run loose in your yard, if it is not fenced in. No matter how nice the animal's personality is, or how long you have known the dog to react with Buddha-like serenity to any of your foolishness or that of others, it is still an animal. If the animal is not under your control, you really cannot say what it will or will not do...but I can:
Given the right provocation, your dog (or anyone else's) will bite, fight, and even kill. Typically, most will also give up their life for you for the sake of nothing more than a kind word. But they cannot understand laws or codes of moral obligations.
That is your job.
Because all dogs bite.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
What really happend in the Garden of Eden.
There is an apocryphal tale from the Bible that goes like this (when summarized extremely briefly): Adam had one friend in the garden, and that was Dog (his named gets capitalized because it was, at the time, a proper name, not a generic noun). After Eve bit the apple and then got Adam to do so as well, God called them and all of the creatures of the Garden together. As He was about to pass sentence on the couple for their transgression, God asked all of the animals present if any of them would stand beside Adam in judgement. All of them turned their backs on Adam accept for Dog. Before casting Adam and Eve out of the garden, God made several decrees, but I will only mention two. For this loyalty, God made dog and man (see, generic nouns, so no capitals) companions from that day forward, each to the others' benefit. For their disloyalty, God made the rest of the creatures of the Garden subservient to Adam--labor to till his fields, leather for his clothes, meat for his table, and so on.
As is the case with so many old stories, details get lost or confused, so you should all know that this is not what really happened. I have done research, traveled to historic sites, consulted various Papal documents, and held extensive interviews in order to find out what really did happen, which was this: Adam and his buddy Dog, after who knows how long of living in the Garden (before the advent of females, which proved to be a rather thorough distraction from the plan for quite some time, apparently) had grown incredibly sick of being confined with nothing new to explore and no new mischief to get up to. As they were innocent, they did not realize that they were mischievous, because they had no malign intent. In a fit of cleverness one day, they devised a plan to get out of the Garden by getting Eve to eat a bit of the forbidden fruit. How exactly they managed this was very simple--they just asked her to do it, and out of love she complied. As history can attest, the plan worked spectacularly.
So, the story really isn't about Man's (or Woman's, for that matter) fall from grace. It's really the story of the first prank, played on God by Adam and Dog. And the first debt, which the same two owe Eve.
As is the case with so many old stories, details get lost or confused, so you should all know that this is not what really happened. I have done research, traveled to historic sites, consulted various Papal documents, and held extensive interviews in order to find out what really did happen, which was this: Adam and his buddy Dog, after who knows how long of living in the Garden (before the advent of females, which proved to be a rather thorough distraction from the plan for quite some time, apparently) had grown incredibly sick of being confined with nothing new to explore and no new mischief to get up to. As they were innocent, they did not realize that they were mischievous, because they had no malign intent. In a fit of cleverness one day, they devised a plan to get out of the Garden by getting Eve to eat a bit of the forbidden fruit. How exactly they managed this was very simple--they just asked her to do it, and out of love she complied. As history can attest, the plan worked spectacularly.
So, the story really isn't about Man's (or Woman's, for that matter) fall from grace. It's really the story of the first prank, played on God by Adam and Dog. And the first debt, which the same two owe Eve.
Monday, February 13, 2012
This one's about writing.
Part of the reason why I started blogging was because of writer's block. I've had it for awhile now. Years. As someone who spent their college career learning to be a writer, it's pretty damn annoying. There is a cure, though. Write. Anything. Each day, just get some words on paper. For example, I keep a daily journal. Occasionally I even make entries on successive days. Now, as someone with a little technical skill at writing, I will give you the one piece of advice that has served me better than any others as a writer: write like you speak.
To make sure you have done this once you write something, read it out loud. The difference between what you will think is good on paper and what you will think sounds good will amaze you. This will serve you no matter what you are working on, be it a personal letter, your grocery list, or the next great American novel. Although, if you're going the novel road, do yourself a favor and start small. Short stories of one thousand words or less. If you can get a story into that small a space, then you can start building up to bigger things.
I plan on finding a way to post some of my fiction writing online. When I do I will post how to view it here. This will serve two purposes for me. The first is because I don't care about getting paid for what I write. The funny thing about being a published author is that writing is an art, but publishing is a business. If you create art for the express purpose of profit, I'm not so sure it's art. The second is to get some public feedback on my work. I already know it doesn't suck, I've had professors tell me that much. The question is, is it art? Because writing, as an art form, answers the old saw about art for the artist or the viewer. What a load of crap. All art if for the viewer, otherwise it's masturbation.
Writing is meant to be shared. That's why it was invented in the first place.
To make sure you have done this once you write something, read it out loud. The difference between what you will think is good on paper and what you will think sounds good will amaze you. This will serve you no matter what you are working on, be it a personal letter, your grocery list, or the next great American novel. Although, if you're going the novel road, do yourself a favor and start small. Short stories of one thousand words or less. If you can get a story into that small a space, then you can start building up to bigger things.
I plan on finding a way to post some of my fiction writing online. When I do I will post how to view it here. This will serve two purposes for me. The first is because I don't care about getting paid for what I write. The funny thing about being a published author is that writing is an art, but publishing is a business. If you create art for the express purpose of profit, I'm not so sure it's art. The second is to get some public feedback on my work. I already know it doesn't suck, I've had professors tell me that much. The question is, is it art? Because writing, as an art form, answers the old saw about art for the artist or the viewer. What a load of crap. All art if for the viewer, otherwise it's masturbation.
Writing is meant to be shared. That's why it was invented in the first place.
Friday, February 3, 2012
President Obama
Last week I used way more words than I needed to (or probably should have), so this week I will try to make do with a lot less.
Our current president is an obviously polarizing figure. Without saying whether I am for or against him, I thought I could say something about the job he is doing. I think he must be doing a hell of a job, because it seems that everyone (Republican and Democrat alike) is pissed off at him. Which is how things really work in a democracy, if everything is going as it should. Nobody gets it all their way. Everyone must compromise, so no one is happy.
Try to remember that the next time you are casting your ballot. And think about this, if you do vote. Most people have a very vague idea about voting. The truth is that you are supposed to cast your vote for what is in your best interest. You aren't supposed to try to decide some nebulous 'greater good' for the rest of the country or be some straight-ticket voting party robot. You are supposed to act in supreme self-interest, and damn all party rhetoric or what any talking head or Hollywood know-nothing spouts at you. If your interests coincide with more people than not then you will see that things are done they way you want a little more than not. But you wont get everything your way, so be prepared for some disappointment.
It really is as simple as that.
I only have one more thing to add. For all the people who try to impress upon me their love or hate for the current president, the current status of our foreign policy or military actions, or the state or the union, I have a question. Did you vote in the last election? If your answer is 'yes,' I am amenable to reasonable discourse. If your answer is 'no,' however, please help yourself to a nice warm glass of "Shut the hell up!"
Our current president is an obviously polarizing figure. Without saying whether I am for or against him, I thought I could say something about the job he is doing. I think he must be doing a hell of a job, because it seems that everyone (Republican and Democrat alike) is pissed off at him. Which is how things really work in a democracy, if everything is going as it should. Nobody gets it all their way. Everyone must compromise, so no one is happy.
Try to remember that the next time you are casting your ballot. And think about this, if you do vote. Most people have a very vague idea about voting. The truth is that you are supposed to cast your vote for what is in your best interest. You aren't supposed to try to decide some nebulous 'greater good' for the rest of the country or be some straight-ticket voting party robot. You are supposed to act in supreme self-interest, and damn all party rhetoric or what any talking head or Hollywood know-nothing spouts at you. If your interests coincide with more people than not then you will see that things are done they way you want a little more than not. But you wont get everything your way, so be prepared for some disappointment.
It really is as simple as that.
I only have one more thing to add. For all the people who try to impress upon me their love or hate for the current president, the current status of our foreign policy or military actions, or the state or the union, I have a question. Did you vote in the last election? If your answer is 'yes,' I am amenable to reasonable discourse. If your answer is 'no,' however, please help yourself to a nice warm glass of "Shut the hell up!"
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Homophobia
Let me begin by saying that this is my first blog. It will not be child-friendly, so get your kids out of the room NOW if they can read. Also, I am kind of a Luddite when it comes to computers so there will be many screw-ups as this blog develops.
What you need to know: I am a former Marine, a combat and disabled veteran, a knife enthusiast (that's putting it incredibly mildly), a reasonably good shot (according to blogger ASM826, who I consider one of my few real friends), and a student of Aikido (which I am not so great at yet). I have an AA degree in art and science and I am close to a BA in creative writing with a multidisciplinary science minor. I often use many more words than I need to get my point across, possibly because I am in love with the sound of my own voice, or just I am just a verbose bastard. I am well-known for being a smart-ass, having strong opinions, and my rabid loyalty to my friends--the number of which I can count on one hand. This is for a reason. My loyalty, once given, can only be lost by two means--death or betrayal--and I'm not so sure about the 'death' one.
Semper Fidelis isn't just a cool way to show you know what a couple of Latin words mean. Understand?
Okay, now on to today's topic.
The name of this blog is My POV (My Point Of View). It is what I think about whatever crosses my mind at the time I write it. If we are all lucky, I will not have been drinking at the time of its writing. Today's topic is 'homophobia.'
First let me say that I am against gay marriage. Not for the reason that the more quick-to-judge of you will think. I am against 'gay marriage' for the same reason I am against people calling themselves African-America or Asian-American or whatever the hell kind of American it is currently popular to hyphenate. When I was becoming a young Marine we were all Green. Light Green, dark Green, or in-between Green, it did not matter. You knew that the guy next to you was Green before he was anything else. By the same token, you should be either American or not. If you want to be something else, please go there and leave America to the people who cherish her. The same goes for marriage. I don't think we need a special 'gay' category. You can be 'married' or 'single,' not anything else. Stop trying to confuse the issue, I am stupid and all of these false boundaries confuse and frighten me. As to whether or not homosexuals (either men or women) should have the right to be as unhappy as the heterosexual folks who have tied the knot I say this: shut up and share the misery you stingy bastards. Marriage is between two consenting adults--end of discussion.
Now, where does this cross my topic? Right here: I have thought long and hard about homophobia. I honestly could not not see what all the fuss was about, until I reasoned it out. Folks, it works like this, at least when men do it--a man who is violently homophobic is that way for a reason. Not for the reason you might think--e.g. that homosexuals deserve some kind of abuse for being the antithesis of all things Right, Good, Christian, or Whatever. No, it is more like this: these fellows are scared of gay men because they intuitively believe that homosexual men think about other men in the exact same way that they think about women.
Take a second and think about that for a moment, please.
If you are able to put aside any prejudices you might have, you probably came to this somewhat scary conclusion--that the level of homophobia a homophobic man displays is a direct reflection of his negative intent towards women.
The more violent his fear, the more all women should fear him.
Not pretty, is it?
No. But that is my point of view.
What you need to know: I am a former Marine, a combat and disabled veteran, a knife enthusiast (that's putting it incredibly mildly), a reasonably good shot (according to blogger ASM826, who I consider one of my few real friends), and a student of Aikido (which I am not so great at yet). I have an AA degree in art and science and I am close to a BA in creative writing with a multidisciplinary science minor. I often use many more words than I need to get my point across, possibly because I am in love with the sound of my own voice, or just I am just a verbose bastard. I am well-known for being a smart-ass, having strong opinions, and my rabid loyalty to my friends--the number of which I can count on one hand. This is for a reason. My loyalty, once given, can only be lost by two means--death or betrayal--and I'm not so sure about the 'death' one.
Semper Fidelis isn't just a cool way to show you know what a couple of Latin words mean. Understand?
Okay, now on to today's topic.
The name of this blog is My POV (My Point Of View). It is what I think about whatever crosses my mind at the time I write it. If we are all lucky, I will not have been drinking at the time of its writing. Today's topic is 'homophobia.'
First let me say that I am against gay marriage. Not for the reason that the more quick-to-judge of you will think. I am against 'gay marriage' for the same reason I am against people calling themselves African-America or Asian-American or whatever the hell kind of American it is currently popular to hyphenate. When I was becoming a young Marine we were all Green. Light Green, dark Green, or in-between Green, it did not matter. You knew that the guy next to you was Green before he was anything else. By the same token, you should be either American or not. If you want to be something else, please go there and leave America to the people who cherish her. The same goes for marriage. I don't think we need a special 'gay' category. You can be 'married' or 'single,' not anything else. Stop trying to confuse the issue, I am stupid and all of these false boundaries confuse and frighten me. As to whether or not homosexuals (either men or women) should have the right to be as unhappy as the heterosexual folks who have tied the knot I say this: shut up and share the misery you stingy bastards. Marriage is between two consenting adults--end of discussion.
Now, where does this cross my topic? Right here: I have thought long and hard about homophobia. I honestly could not not see what all the fuss was about, until I reasoned it out. Folks, it works like this, at least when men do it--a man who is violently homophobic is that way for a reason. Not for the reason you might think--e.g. that homosexuals deserve some kind of abuse for being the antithesis of all things Right, Good, Christian, or Whatever. No, it is more like this: these fellows are scared of gay men because they intuitively believe that homosexual men think about other men in the exact same way that they think about women.
Take a second and think about that for a moment, please.
If you are able to put aside any prejudices you might have, you probably came to this somewhat scary conclusion--that the level of homophobia a homophobic man displays is a direct reflection of his negative intent towards women.
The more violent his fear, the more all women should fear him.
Not pretty, is it?
No. But that is my point of view.
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